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In a united front against Mullahs Incorporated's kidnapping of Iranian British embassy employees, the 27 member countries of the EU recalled their ambassadors today. The ratcheting up of pressure on the mullahs is being credited with the release of 7 of the 9 hostages.

Ayatollah Ahmad Jannati, who is a major butt kisser of Iran's supreme leader (I love that title; that's why Marack is kissing their ass...he wants to be a supreme leader too...) Ayatollah Ali
Khamenei, made the announcement during Friday prayers in Teheran.

"Naturally they will be put on trial, they have made confessions. In these incidents, their embassy had a presence, some people were arrested."

Naturally. Naturally it will be a kangaroo court where false evidence will be presented along with the coerced confessions. Most likely they will then be hanged while the world sits on its hands and says, "Gosh, that sucked."

Wouldn't it be refreshing if the British sent a message with their navy in the Persian Gulf? I mean, come on, we're already playing stupid games with people's lives, why not kick it up a notch?

And just in case you questioned Marack's dedication to maintaining the Islamist theocracy in Iran, in the face of EU toughness (oh, please), note that the Dumbass in Chief is going to move to block sanctions on Iran at the G8. Can we impeach this ratfucker NOW??? I mean really.

All the G8 has to do is move to place an embargo on gasoline exports to Iran. How fucking hard is this?

Make me your President and we'll solve these problems the old fashioned way: strong on the ground intelligence assets, money, satellite tv, bacon dropped from the sky, and donkey basketball. Oh, and let's fuck the Chinese over while we're at it. We'll get rid of the FED and IRS, legalize marijuana and tax it, and make gravel our national currency. And whoops sorry China we're not buying your crap anymore. Oh, you want to call in our debt? What debt? We don't have any debt. What are you talking about? You people are crazy. You must be thinking of Libya. They spend money like a drunken sailor.

Once we've rid ourselves of these brutal regimes by keeping the occupied with solving Rubick's Cube, we can fix our attention to more important matters; making indentured servants out of the Congress, and partying like it's 1999. I propose that instead of the Olympics in 2010 we have Keglympics.

Can't we all just get drunk for 3 weeks, have sex in the streets, and get over this nonsense?

Nunly, break out the naughty habits!

What, my solutions aren't practical? Considering the way shit's being run now I'm going to err on the side of partying. If the ship is sinking, I say we have a good time.