Shut Up Scamrock Shaikh

On Thursday, an op-ed appeared in Washington Post by Shaikh Salman bin Hamad al-Khalifa whose full-time job is that of cr[l]own prince of Bahrain. As a Bahraini clown prince I would imagine that you probably have a lot of time to ponder the deeper mysteries of life, like why the Arabs and Israelis just can't seem to make nice. Well Shamrock Shaikh seems to have the answer.

Just so you know, this steaming nugget of bat shit is chocked full of douchily goodness...check your perspicacity at the door...you will not be needing it...a good buzz may be all you need to enjoy the love and peace vibe from Shaikh 'n' Bhaikh.

First...a little mood music...seriously...you can't fully appreciate this post without it. It adds flavor...if you've never seen this before...it's truly sick. Bob says it all..."It's out business to stir it up..." The video cuts off just as the magnificent jam really begins to take off...consider it a little personal poetic moment to audiate the rest of the jam in your head.

So Shaikh 'n' Bake has it all figured out, man...the Israelis and the Arabs just aren't hearing each other...there's too much bad spirit...we've got to get into the love, man. We need to get fresh...

We need fresh thinking if the Arab Peace Initiative is to have the impact it deserves on the crisis that needlessly impoverishes Palestinians and endangers Israel's security.

See...it starts out good...the Arabs under the Palestinian Authority are needlessly impoverished...by the Palestinian Authority (for all the Leftist Israel Jew Bashers out there who shit nails when you think about the $3 billion in aid that Israel gets from the United States...the Palestinian Authority is getting $33 million from the World Bank this year, in addition to the $77 million it has already received before January, plus the 2.9 billion they received last year in foreign pledges, with another 4.5 billion being paid over the next 2 years. See if you can correctly guess the skimmed off the top to going to the people ratio within 3 points.), and Israeli security is always endangered...but then things quickly turn into Houston having a problem.

"This crisis is not a zero-sum game. For one side to win, the other does not have to lose." [Emphasis mine]

Yes, but doesn't that mean that one side doesn't have to win? Guess which side that is...if you guessed the Arabs go stick your head in the toilet...seriously go put your head in the toilet...then write a 200 word essay on the experience.

The peace dividend for the entire Middle East is potentially immense. So why have we not gotten anywhere?

Our biggest mistake has been to assume that you can simply switch peace on like a light bulb. The reality is that peace is a process, contingent on a good idea but also requiring a great deal of campaigning -- patiently and repeatedly targeting all relevant parties. This is where we as Arabs have not done enough to communicate directly with the people of Israel.

An Israeli might be forgiven for thinking that every Muslim voice is raised in hatred, because that is usually the only one he hears. Just as an Arab might be forgiven for thinking every Israeli wants the destruction of every Palestinian

We have now officially strayed into the land of 72 virgin faeries and pixie dust...Shields up! Um...uh...I leave this space for you to write the acerbic comment: (why should I always have to be the one to do it. :-)

Essentially, we have not done a good enough job demonstrating to Israelis how our initiative [the Saudi Plan] can form part of a peace between equals in a troubled land holy to three great faiths.

Yes, the problem is that you have not been able to convince the Israelis that giving up all the land it gained in defensive wars initiated by Arab invasions and military buildups on her borders, giving her defensible borders against those very Arab countries that have not, and recently declared they will not ever recognize Israel as Jewish state, is a good idea. The Arabs have not managed to persuade Israel that committing suicide is in its best interests. Keep trying boys...Tzipi Livni, Ehud Barak, and Shimon Peres are still in the government.

What we don't need is the continued reflexive rejection of any initiative that seeks to melt the ice. Consider the response so far to the Arab peace plan, pioneered by King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. This initiative is a genuine effort to normalize relations between the entire Arab region and Israel, in return for Israel's withdrawal from occupied territory and a fair resolution of the plight of the Palestinians, far too many of whom live in refugee camps in deplorable conditions.

Buwahahahaha!!!!! A genuine effort...to give the Arabs everything they want...getting rid of Israel; and yes, if only Israel absorbed the descendants of hundreds of thousands of refugees that should have been absorbed by the countries whose invasion of Israel largely motivated the situation, not to mention all the Arabs who fled out of fear of reprisals for the violence they perpetrated against the Jews there, we could get out this refugee mess the Arabs created for themselves to serve their own interests.

Actually, Prime Minister of Israel made an excellent suggestion. Let them move to the Palestinian state that's never going to be created because the Palestinian Authority doesn't really want it.

We must stop the small-minded waiting game in which each side refuses to budge until the other side makes the first move.

Right, because Israel never withdrew from southern Lebanon; never withdrew from Gaza; never armed the PA security forces (Fatah); never took down any checkpoints; never ceded control of any areas of Judea and Samaria to those aforementioned security forces; and the PA fulfilled all of its obligations under all previous agreements, and did not respond to Israeli gestures with rockets from Lebanon and Gaza, and there certainly weren't any homicide bombings, intifadas, or any incidents of the PA security force killing Israelis with the guns Israel supplied them to stop the terrorists...

Oh wait...here in non-Bizarro world just the opposite happened. Israel makes all the moves, and the Arabs don't do shit except wait for an opportunity to kill Jews. Ooops.

A real, lasting peace requires comprehensive engagement and reconciliation at the human level. This will happen only if we address and settle the core issues dividing the Arab and the Israeli peoples, the first being the question of Palestine and occupied Arab lands. The fact that this has not yet happened helps to explain why the Jordanian and Egyptian peace accords with Israel are cold. They have not been comprehensive.

Yes, Jews still occupy "Palestine: From the River to the Sea." Until the peace process eliminates the Jewish problem there will never be a comprehensive peace. Thanks for the update Sherlock Shaikh. We hadn't received that message over the past 61 years.

We should move toward real peace now by consulting and educating our people and by reaching out to the Israeli public to highlight the benefits of a genuine peace.

So I guess you'll be shutting down the broadcasts of racist mullahs calling for the destruction of Israel and the killing of all Jews; you'll make sure that your schools' textbooks and newspapers are free of Jew hate propaganda, and close down all the mosques where Jew hate is taught, and rewrite the Koran. Thanks, we appreciate that a bunch. Once that happens I'm sure the Israeli public will be more than willing to hear how committing suicide is a benefit. Maybe explain that the last meal shwarma is really good.

To be effective, we must acknowledge that, like people everywhere, the average Israeli's primary window on the world is his or her local and national media. Our job, therefore, is to tell our story more directly to the Israeli people by getting the message out to their media, a message reflecting the hopes of the Arab mainstream that confirms peace as a strategic option and advocates the Arab Peace Initiative as a means to this end. Some conciliatory voices in reply from Israel would help speed the process.

I have no comment on that other than to say that the whole world should be smoking the hashish this guy's got packed in the nargilla...because it must be really kick ass.

Some Arabs, simplistically equating communication with normalization, may think we are moving too fast toward normalization [Sixty-one years goes flies by when you're having fun]. But we all know that dialogue must be enhanced for genuine progress. We all, together, need to take the first crucial step to lay the groundwork to effectively achieve peace. So we must all invest more in communication.

Yes, a really well executed PR campaign in Israel is exactly what you should be working on. Here's an idea for a billboard campaign. Have the Clown Prince hold a gun to an Israeli's head with the caption: "We promise...it's for your own good," or "This won't hurt a bit...you can trust us."

Thanks for the tips Shaikh. Can you please stop wasting our time now? Do something about the fucked up regime in your own country and get back to us. Thanks.