Hubba Hubba Bubba

First it was weaponized pigs; then it is was the Skunk Bomb. Now, Ynet reveals the latest weapon in Israel's arsenal of weird: SEX GUM! Bowchickybowwow...

That's right, Israeli intelligence is now being accused of dealing sex gum to the youth of Gaza in order to plunge them into a debauched world of sex and lasciviousness.

"The Israelis seek to destroy the Palestinians' social infrastructure with these products and to hurt the young generation by distributing drugs and sex stimulants," said Hamas police spokesman Islam Shahwan.

Hmmm...the youth of Gaza forced to live under the guns of Hamas, much like they did under Fatah (only Hamas wears masks), with their ruling mafia regime boosting the food and other humanitarian supplies entering Gaza and reselling it to them on the street, amid the logistical nightmare of avoiding being colatoral damage in the latest round of stop firing rockets at us you sick douchebags...considering that is the reality I'd say sex and drugs are the way to go.

Check this out. This is what Hamas does to weddings of people they don't like.

If I had spent a good part of my evening running from Hamas gunmen who were shooting up a wedding of a friend of mine, or engaged in a gun fight with them, when it was all over I'd probably wanna get loaded and screw.

I'm wondering though...where is the rock 'n' roll? I tell you where it is...under wraps.

Rock 'n' Roll is the fuel of social revolution; and when I say rock 'n' roll I mean jazz and swing too. Gum doesn't make young people want to fuck because it feels good...it breaks hearts and takes the pain away...it makes you feel alive when everything else on offer sucks ass.

You add rock 'n' roll and the rebellion goes Elvis. There's a reason he had an army. Now I'm not a big Elvis fan beyond the power house Sun Records era...the straight ahead, unfucked with Elvis. Duke Ellington, Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Johnny Cash, Chuck Berry, Miles Davis, Dave Brubeck...people fuck to this music...people get inspired to live...Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix...Big Brother and the Holding Company...the Beatles...Marvin Gaye...Bob Marley and the Wailers...on and on to the Clash...and forward...good music makes shit happens.

What were the youth of Iran doing before the mullahs tried to pull the rigged election bullshit? Listening to music on the radio, and most likely having make out parties. There's a reason why holding hands and dancing to music in public are acts of rebellion

You want a solution? Let the musicians make the peace and let the children fuck.

Somehow I think the stories from smugglers at the Erez crossing that they were assisted in their trafficking by Israeli intelligence are a bit over the top. What's that conversation like? "Yeah, look, I'm Uzi Falafel from Shin Bet and we'll help you with the whole drug trafficking thing if you just run our sex gum."

So as long as we're on this line let's speculate what the next revealed weapon will be? Steroid injected jaguars? Remote control fruit bats that give everyone rabies? Ooh...I like that...