New At Oh...My Valve!

Happy 2009....wuh hoo!  Enjoy it while you can because after the 20th it's really gonna suck.  Fortunately I have installed some new features on the OMV Bus of Shame.

I have installed an industrial strength, all terrain, shock absorbant, warm and comfy, surface to air Hypocrisy Meter.  As some of you may recall my last one was rendered inoperative after being blindsided by a Planet Asshat NPR Class battle cruiser, the SS Davidfolkendouche.  Sensors show an approaching wave of interstellar doucheness, so I invested what little I didn't give of my shares of World Jewish Conspiracy dividends to Bernie Madoff, in the Douchiak 8000; "the most durable hypocrisy meter in the known universe."  At least that's what the guy at the office supply store said.

Also new for 2009, OMV will be embracing the digital age, broadcasting across cyberspace and beyond in hi-def BarackoVision so that you can feel like you are basking in the holy light of Barack Tiberius Waffalo's ignominious aura.  OMV BarackoVision viewing goggles can be purchased at your local Phlegm's Consignment Shop for only $19.95.  All proceeds will benefit the I Can't Believe People Are That Stupid Institute's pro bono lobotomy program for incorrigible dingdongs.  We thank you for your support.

Happy New Year!