I don't care what anyone says, he's not my President. The Declaration of Independence clearly states that the government rules by the consent of the governed. I do not give Pampers consent to be my President. So once again, my dog will serve as my President. President I. Roverandom has served her country well, and plans to continue to do so. So, if it makes you feel better, she'll be your President too. Witness now her taking the Oath of Office.I swear to be a better President than Pampers. I swear to have my belly rubbed multiple times a day, and jump up and give everyone kisses on the face, except for Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Chuck Schumer, Chris Dodd, and Pampers.
I swear that everyone will have a better time with me in the White House, and that anyone who wants to come play with me in the rose garden is free to do so.
I will not evaporate the world in a nuclear holocaust, and will not pretend that our enemies are our friends, and our friends are our enemies.
I swear not to shoot anyone in the face.
And I promise not to take a dump on the Constitution.
Okay. Let's party, cheaply.
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2 comments:
I noticed that President I. Roverandom had no trouble repeating the oath of office...not one flub, like the faux-prez Obama who couldn't do it today without a teleprompter.
I hope that President I. Roverandom will place an executive order for all male dogs to lift their collective legs and take a whiz on every Obamabot they come upon. They're easy to spot, they're all wearing Obama T-Shirts or a wrapped up in Obama throws or eating off of Obama commemorative plates.
Madame President is an excellent oath taker. He really used a teleprompter?
President Roverandom most definitely advocates urinating on bots (she likes to lift her leg sometimes too, she says it shows she's a lady of quality).
In the true fashion of the Canine Leisure Society, the First Family slept through the entire coronation today, and plans to sleep through the next four years, occasionally getting up to go to the bathroom, eat, and make sure no one is trying to nuke the crap out of anyone else.
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