The I'm So Hateful I Can't Spell Award goes to this graduate of the Hamas University of Hate.
Hat tip to UppityWoman for passing along the photo of Mr. Genius here (at least he spelled Juice right) from Little Green Footballs
[from the Shtuey News Network] In response to Hamas' call for the extermination of juice, the Israeli Foreign Ministry released a statement that Israel will not be outdone, and will undertake a program of exterminating all fruit. The Agricultural Ministry advised that this might not be so smart considering that a rather large portion of the Israeli GNP is derived from produce exports. Ehud Olmert responded by scratching himself.
And now it's time for a new Oh...My Valve segment: Wake Up Assholes! (brought to you in Douche-o-Vision).
Like many people I am sick to death of the seemingly unending violence between Israel and the Palestinians. So why don't we all just put down our guns, hold hands, and sing Cumbaya? For those of you who think the supporters of Hamas simply want a homeland in Gaza and the West Bank, WAKE UP ASSHOLES!
What does the sign say? From the River to the Sea? But wait, that would be all of Israel and the West Bank and Gaza. Hmmm...
And you wonder why there's no peace. When you come up with a reason why Israel would negotiate with political bodies that advocate her destruction, you get back to me.
On the other hand, bombing the shit out of Gaza isn't necessarily the smart plan either. I agree with the assertion that it drives ordinary Palestinians into the arms of Hamas. Not too good. So what can we conclude?
Two stupids don't make a smart, and don't make peace either.
Stay tuned folks. Wait 'til you find out why Hamas took power in the first place. You will take a dump. And then you'll piss nails. And then, if you are still in possession of compassionate soul, you'll probably cry.
The Shut the Fuck Up You Pampers Bootlick Massive Waste of our Resources Award goes to Ryan Seacrest of American Idol fame for his invoking of Pampers in Times Square (around minute 2).
Pampers of course was nowhere to be seen to usher in the Year of the Pamp. But the Clintons were, yucking it up and pushing the button on the big new ball. It was nice to see them having a good time considering the bullshit they had to put up with this year.
Sure the economy is tanking, we're shedding jobs, people are hurting, and we're just getting warmed up. Naturally the thing to do is spend millions of dollars on a gigantic crystal ball. Oh great and mighty Times Square Crystal Ball, tell us our future...
I see...I see...tsuris. You're screwed.
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5 comments:
WOW - all that late night partying and you still haven't lost your touch.
I could not agree more; and the "Year Of The Pamp" is going to go down in the history books as a game changer and probably not a good one for true, liberty and integrity.
What would I do if you weren't here to bring laughter thru education? Alas, I am afraid to contemplate.
Um, was Dick shitfaced? Or should he just move along to the rest home?
Not much hopey changey for old people coming up with this bunch you know. They are a frigging drain on society. Can't even work in the potato fields, comrade!
Alas, Dick "Portrait of Dorian Gray" Clarke is still dealing with the effects of a stroke he suffered a few years back...of course it does mean he can get shit faced and have a reasonable alibi. When you're Dick Clarke you can pretty much do what you like. I mean...he's Dick Clarke.
Maybe that should be the "Year of The Pimp" not the pamp. He pimped out so many un-Democratic Party members last year I just want to throw up....if you want to read a somewhat funny post...read Cow Farting Tax over at my place! I kill me!
Logistics, vet, schtuey & uppity, thanks for making my day! You have me laughing in the face of some of the direst circumstances we have ever faced. And that's a good thing--without humor, we have nothing. Since we already have honesty and integrity here, we are now poised to enter 2009 rested, refreshed and ready to rumble down the road toward our goals!
You guys are the best!
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