The only thing I do know is that my best friend, the sweetest most loving dog that has ever lived, was killed by someone speeding down our quiet street, who didn't even have the decency to stop. Because of someone's desire to get somewhere, on our going to nowhere street, my dog is dead. I will never get to snuggle her, or sleep with her, walk with her, or play with her again.
I am beside myself with grief. I was supposed to have more time. I was supposed to watch her grow old. I was supposed to have my dog alive when I came home today so she could jump all over me, and shower me with her hugs and kisses, which she did when we first met and she told me that I was going to be her dad. Now she'll never be here to hug me again.
Her sister, who was also out, is unharmed physically. I gave her chance to see Isabel's body. She sniffed and kissed her, and growled some, wondering why she wouldn't get up. I wept over her body for I don't know how long.
She was my first dog. She had terrible separation anxiety and required a lot of training, and medicine to help her get over it. But adopting her sister is what really made the difference. They healed each other. Both had their issues; separation anxiety, and an early life of abuse and neglect. They became fast friends, thick as thieves, as we all were in our pack. Now one of us is gone, and my heart is broken.
We have made arrangements for her to be buried at a place she loved, and where we can visit her as much as we want. We thought about burying her at our home, but nowhere is permanent and the thought of us moving away and leaving her with strangers is just something I couldn't live with. She will be buried in a place of fond memories, grounds kept by people who cared for her and loved her.
We have already decided that the best way to honor her is to begin, when we're ready, to foster dogs from the local shelter where Isabel was when I adopted her. If we find one who fits our family, and is universally loved by all the furry members, then that dog will have a forever home with us.
Isabel, I love you with all my heart and soul and will always, but it will never compare to the love you gave to me. You taught me more about myself than I could have ever learned on my own: the nature of love, and that even in a world populated by greedy, selfish, assholes who would just as soon slit your throat and burn your house down, there are souls on this earth who know no malice, who are devoid of guile, and who can touch our spirits and enliven us in ways we could not possibly have imagined. You were one of those souls. Your sister is as well. If I ever encounter another with one tenth of your brilliance then I will consider myself blessed.
I love you more than words can tell, and that will never change. Time heals all wounds they say, but no matter where I go, or what I do, the love you brought will remain with me. And one day, we will meet again in that far green country, 'neath the swift sunrise.
Travel safely my angel. Watch over your sister, and all of us. And if you can, beam some of that boundless love you gave into every living soul so that maybe this world will begin to turn around.
I love you.
To my readers: I will be taking some time to be with my family, and to grieve. I'll share some memories of my girl with you too. Then it will be right back to fight.