I swear to be a better President than Pampers. I swear to have my belly rubbed multiple times a day, and jump up and give everyone kisses on the face, except for Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, Chuck Schumer, Chris Dodd, and Pampers.
I swear that everyone will have a better time with me in the White House, and that anyone who wants to come play with me in the rose garden is free to do so.
I will not evaporate the world in a nuclear holocaust, and will not pretend that our enemies are our friends, and our friends are our enemies.
I swear not to shoot anyone in the face.
And I promise not to take a dump on the Constitution.
Okay. Let's party, cheaply.