Congratulations Pampers, You Finally Did Something I Respect

Due to Obama supporters' constant demand for substance, the major discussion at www.pampersasskissers.com is all about the First Dog.  In a stunning development it has been decided that the OPampers family will be getting a shelter dog.  As a proponent of shelter adoption (see mine pictured in the side bar) I applaud this decision.  Millions of animals are put to sleep in shelters across the country every year.  That's millions of cats and dogs that only want a warm place to live so they can provide you with an endless supply of love.  Because of the way your party, your pet organization ACORN, and people like your campaign finance chair have raped our housing market and economy, families across the country have found themselves having to take their family pets to shelters because they can't afford to take care of them.  You can afford to be altruistic.  Adopt two dogs.  And publicly adopt Senator Clinton's economic plan so people can afford to stay in their homes, get back to work, and get their family out of the shelters. 

Now, it may be that this decision is nothing more than yet another Pampers publicity stunt.  As long as the dog is loved, taken care of, and spoiled rotten like every shelter dog and cat should be, I have no problem with that.  Now if this turns into an Ellen DeGeneres style fiasco that will be another story.

Some advice for the Pampers family on making their choice, and some care tips:  

1. Take the breed mix into consideration.  Just because your dog will most likely be a mutt (there are pure bred dogs in shelters, as well as breed specific rescues so if there is a type of breed that is suited to you languishing in a shelter don't hesitate to adopt it), doesn't mean it won't have those traits.  One of my dogs has some Jack Russell and beagle.  This is a 40 lb dog with a 4.5 foot vertical leap and a lot to say.  For example, dogs with a lot of working/hunting dog in them may not be the best for you, unless you plan on giving them appropriate activities to challenge them and use their bred-in skills.  Terrier mixes can be great dogs (but they can also be a challenge).  Certain breeds, like Cairns, could turn the White House grounds into a World War I battlefield, but they will also cut down on your vermin problem.  So choose wisely, play with your dog, exercise him/her, and love it!
2. Shelter dogs can be prone to separation anxiety.  This is a real syndrome that, if left untreated, can cause psychological and emotional problems for your dog.  Don't panic!  A dog suffering from separation anxiety can be treated with training, and in some cases medication.  If your dog is displaying symptoms (excessive whining while you're gone, causing damage to floors, window frames, furniture, etc; stress) you should consult your veterinarian, who may refer you to, or work in conjunction with, a behaviorist.  One of my dogs suffered from a terrible case of sep anx.  I used a combination of training and medication to help treat her (she was on two types of medication for a while).  With love, patience, and proper treatment, you can help alleviate and possibly cure any dog of this syndrome.  My dog is now off medication and is happy and healthy.  Do not underestimate the damage that can be done to your dog if this goes untreated.  It can be debilitating.  But as I said, it is very treatable (your kids are going to be a big part of the training process, and they will learn a valuable lesson about kindness to animals).  So if your dog ends up having separation anxiety don't throw your hands up and take the dog back.  Work with your dog and help him/her get healthy.  The reward of undying love will far out way the cost in time and medication.
3. Keep in mind that some shelter dogs were dumped there by abusive families.  This happened to one of my dogs.  She was emaciated and nervous when she was dumped at the shelter where I found her.  She was so neglected that she didn't even know what to do with a ball.  She had some issues, but again, with love, patience, and a doggy class, she has blossomed into one of the most loving dogs in the history of dogdom.  She is also a fierce protector of her family.
4. Foods to avoid: no onions (in any form!!!), no grapes, no garlic in large quantities.  There are a lot of foods and plants that dogs should avoid.  There are a lot of websites with good information on this.  Here's a list.  Consult a variety of lists because they're not all complete.  Dogster.com is a great resource.  It's like MySpace for dogs.  Here's another great resource for animal health.
5. The most important factor in your dog's health is diet and exercise.  Since you are a family of means you can afford the best diets available; do your dog a favor, do not feed it kibble.  Despite the growth of fancy ass dry dog foods, whole foods are best.  Kibble doesn't deliver optimal nutrition and isn't good for doggy teeth.  Not everyone can afford the higher quality kibbles, especially in today's economic climate that your party has dropped in our laps, but that isn't an issue for you.  Consider a raw or home cooked diet.  Avoid grains.  There are lots of grain free diets out there.  There is no reason for you to feed your dog Purina, Iams, Pedigree, or other such bags of poo (these companies use low grade food sources, often with nasty chemicals in them because their meat ends up with euthanized animals in it...seriously.  There are also nasty preservatives in them.  If you're going with a kibble diet, feed wet food as well.  I avoid foods with BHA/BHT, ethoxyquin and menadione sodium bisulfite.  I also avoid foods with the word "by-products" in the ingredient list, and only use foods whose ingredients lists starts with a meat protein (chicken, lamb, as opposed to chicken or lamb meal).  Do some research.  Don't feed your dog crap.  Being in the aristocracy you can afford to consult a dietician if you want (for the record I am not shitting on people who feed their dogs super market kibbles, but if you can afford a better diet do some research and change your pet's food; they'll be healthier in the long run, and you'll end up saving money as you don't have to feed as much food because it's more nutritious).  Prepared foods I recommend are:

• Evo
• The Honest Kitchen
• Evangers canned meats
• Orijen
• Wellness Core
• Nature's Variety
  

SHELTER DOGS ROCK!!!

Remember, your dog is the most vulnerable member of your family, and, god willing, it will be a member of your family for a long time.  It's like having a toddler that never grows up.  So take care of your dog.  Play with your dog.  Love your dog.  Feed it well, and always have clean, filtered (or distilled) water available.  And provide lots of exercise.  

Don't fuck this up.  Nothing works up the ire of the public faster than someone who doesn't treat their dog well.  You can't throw your dog under the bus like you have done to so many of the people in your life.  You are making this commitment for life.  Be this dog's forever family or you'll be in deep doodoo with a lot of people.  Animal lovers are a lot less forgiving than ordinary voters.

PS The people at PETA are a bunch of yahoos who think that domestic animals should not exist so don't ever ever ever let anyone from PETA near your dog.  In fact, don't let them near the White House.  PETA nutcases kidnap and euthanize dogs and cats (though considering the fact that PETA uses Alinsky tactics like you and ACORN you might like PETA; try developing a conscience).  We had a rash of that in North Carolina and other places.  For a quick look at how fucked up PETA is watch the videos below (warning, explicit language, and some graphic footage of animal cruelty; cover your kids' ears, and possibly eyes).  

And just to clarify my position: I believe the abuses and inhumane treatment of animals should end.  I buy meat that is raised locally, raised and slaughtered humanely and treated with respect (I am fortunate to live in an area where this is possible).  I believe the future of agriculture is local farming.  It helps avoid expensive and environmentally unsound interstate transportation (exception for Hawaii), promotes healthier conditions, agricultural practices, and better quality food.  Basically, I do my best to make humane choices, but I'm not giving up eating meat.  I'll go vegetarian when lions go vegetarian.  I also have nothing against people trying to raise awareness regarding animal cruelty.  But I do not condone the use of violence, extortion, etc.  And the fact is that in a lot of cases animals make better companions than people so I don't support the abolition of domestic animals.  As long as they are cared for and treated with respect I have no problems.  

Here's an organization I have no problem supporting.  American Humane.  Like me, American Humane supports the Pampers family position regarding adopting from a shelter.  If Pampers only keeps one promise I hope it's this one.

Now, on with the show!