It's the same in any lingo

בַּת-בָּבֶל, הַשְּׁדוּדָה: אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיְשַׁלֶּם-לָךְ-- אֶת-גְּמוּלֵךְ, שֶׁגָּמַלְתּ לָנוּ
אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיֹּאחֵז וְנִפֵּץ אֶת-עֹלָלַיִךְ-- אֶל-הַסָּלַע

How can one be compelled to accept slavery? I simply refuse to do the master's bidding. He may torture me, break my bones to atoms and even kill me. He will then have my dead body, not my obedience. Ultimately, therefore, it is I who am the victor and not he, for he has failed in getting me to do what he wanted done. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? If not now, when? ~ Rav Hillel, Pirke Avot

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes
Wear It With Pride

25 October 2008

You Have Been Served

Since the 2008 election cycle began I have been begging for election officials to change the format not only of the debates, but the party candidate selection process as well.  For the debates I have suggested themed formats:

  1. Shakespeare Night:  Candidates dress in Elizabethan attire and give responses in iambic pentameter.
  2. Movie Night:  Candidates dress as their favorite film characters and deliver their responses in that character's voice.
  3. Slap Fight: I think you know how that goes.
  4. History Night:  Candidates dress as their favorite person from history.
  5. Super Hero Night:  Again, obvious.
After this series of debates there is a national primary day for each party.  The top two winners then compete head to head for the nomination, engaging in a series of challenges:

  1. Current events quiz not unlike Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, but without the sycophants from National Pampers Radio.
  2. Trivial Pursuit
  3. Head to head game of Risk
  4. Feats of Strength
  5. Spelling Bee
  6. Talent Show
The candidate who accumulates the most points from all 6 challenges is the nominee.  Tie breakers will be settled by jello wrestling; best of 3 falls.

When it comes to the general election we can vote based on the candidates' positions, which are often just endless streams of flowing diarrhea of the mouth (hat tip to Pampers for raising the bar on that score), or we could vote based on this:


Anonymous said...

Dear Shtuey,
Do I sense a certain air of disgusted sarcasm in your voice? Deliver us from this horrid nightmare, please. We need all of the posi-traction we can muster. Take care.

Anonymous said...

I am so fearful (I know, we should not express fear) that the upcoming vote will be so flawed. Again, there are no checks and balances. The media is complicit in the crap. So many turncoats exist in the government. Citizen attempts to sue for information are thwarted by technicalities (not just Berg, but the Acorn suit in Ohio and who knows what else?) Where are our benefactors? I am so very frustrated. We work for McCain, as it is the only option, I believe, but if the vote is illegitimate, then what? Today's news of Berg's dismissal is devastating. Was there any attempt to see if obama filed any documents to run for Senate? Is it possible for a third party candidate such as Nader to sue for disclosure, as they would be an interested party and could use the excuse of damages already done. Of course, Hillary has been the one most damaged, but she will not do it.