- Shakespeare Night: Candidates dress in Elizabethan attire and give responses in iambic pentameter.
- Movie Night: Candidates dress as their favorite film characters and deliver their responses in that character's voice.
- Slap Fight: I think you know how that goes.
- History Night: Candidates dress as their favorite person from history.
- Super Hero Night: Again, obvious.
After this series of debates there is a national primary day for each party. The top two winners then compete head to head for the nomination, engaging in a series of challenges:
- Current events quiz not unlike Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, but without the sycophants from National Pampers Radio.
- Trivial Pursuit
- Head to head game of Risk
- Feats of Strength
- Spelling Bee
- Talent Show
The candidate who accumulates the most points from all 6 challenges is the nominee. Tie breakers will be settled by jello wrestling; best of 3 falls.
When it comes to the general election we can vote based on the candidates' positions, which are often just endless streams of flowing diarrhea of the mouth (hat tip to Pampers for raising the bar on that score), or we could vote based on this:
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2 comments:
Dear Shtuey,
Do I sense a certain air of disgusted sarcasm in your voice? Deliver us from this horrid nightmare, please. We need all of the posi-traction we can muster. Take care.
I am so fearful (I know, we should not express fear) that the upcoming vote will be so flawed. Again, there are no checks and balances. The media is complicit in the crap. So many turncoats exist in the government. Citizen attempts to sue for information are thwarted by technicalities (not just Berg, but the Acorn suit in Ohio and who knows what else?) Where are our benefactors? I am so very frustrated. We work for McCain, as it is the only option, I believe, but if the vote is illegitimate, then what? Today's news of Berg's dismissal is devastating. Was there any attempt to see if obama filed any documents to run for Senate? Is it possible for a third party candidate such as Nader to sue for disclosure, as they would be an interested party and could use the excuse of damages already done. Of course, Hillary has been the one most damaged, but she will not do it.
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