The Results Are In

Voting is closed for selecting the nominees for the Oy...My Valve! Peace Prize. The competition got tight towards the end, but we have our three finalists. They are:

1. The Unopened Box of #2 Pencils
2. My Phlegm
3. The Deflated NFL Regulation Football Bladder

Congratulations to our finalists! I know you are as thrilled as I am. Well, now the time has come to select which of these unaccomplished but charming objects has done more to bring peace to the known universe than Marack Peace Prize Pampers.

Unlike the nomination poll, voters will only be allowed to select one nominee. I know, they're all worthy, but you will have to select only the most worthy. Choose wisely. The fate of the universe is in your hands.

And here's a little something I found over at Caroline Glick's Blog. It's extremely appropriate, and hilarious. Enjoy!

John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,'

and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing

went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells

and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance,

which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report

by just listening to the bells.

John's favourite rooster, Barry, was a very fine specimen,

but this morning he noticed Barry's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing

pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.

To John's amazement, Barry had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't

ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Barry, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair

and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded Barry the No Bell Piece

Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly, Barry was a politician in the making.

Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the

most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at

sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't

paying attention.

Vote carefully, the bells are not always audible.