It's the same in any lingo

בַּת-בָּבֶל, הַשְּׁדוּדָה: אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיְשַׁלֶּם-לָךְ-- אֶת-גְּמוּלֵךְ, שֶׁגָּמַלְתּ לָנוּ
אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיֹּאחֵז וְנִפֵּץ אֶת-עֹלָלַיִךְ-- אֶל-הַסָּלַע


How can one be compelled to accept slavery? I simply refuse to do the master's bidding. He may torture me, break my bones to atoms and even kill me. He will then have my dead body, not my obedience. Ultimately, therefore, it is I who am the victor and not he, for he has failed in getting me to do what he wanted done. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? If not now, when? ~ Rav Hillel, Pirke Avot

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes
Wear It With Pride

12 October 2009

The Nachas Machine

Do you remember this joke I wrote?

What has four arms, four legs, two heads, and makes Marack, the UN, the EU, and the Arabs want to take a dump?

A pregnant Jew!

Well it seems that there were a whole lot of them in B'nai Brak this Tishrei because Maayanei Hayeshua Hospital just released its birth statistics for the month. They delivered 900 babies in September, B"H! That's right Marack...900 Jewish babies! I LOVE IT!!! That's 900 new Jewish lives to carry on our nation into the next generation. Surely the UN is convening the UNSC to issue a condemnation.

Around 500 of them were boys. That's a lot of foreskins. It reminds me of the joke about the moyel who saved 10,ooo tips. He took them to a leather maker to have him make something nice. A week later the leather maker presented him with a wallet. Seeing the moyel's disappointment the leather maker said, "I know it's just a wallet now. But when you rub it, it turns into a suitcase!"

Ten percent of the babies were twins; forty babies were born on Yom Kippur; 88.5% of the total births were natural while 12.5% were C-Section, about half the national average.

Mazel tov to all the families. May they all grow strong and take their place among the people, and bring you nothing but abundant nachas!


2 comments:

12tequilas said...

IIRC, when one gives birth on Yom Kippur, one doesn't have to fast. Sounds obvious, but mere pregnancy, or recent birth, doesn't necessarily exempt one.
That is happy news indeed but I am wondering, are the stats on method of birth relevant?

Mary Ellen said...

That joke about the wallet made me spit my coffee out! LOL!

Well, all I can say is "Wonderful!" We need some new life to carry on in this world and hopefully they will help to bring peace to Israel at last.

(sorry I haven't been able to get over here...it's been crazy at home, almost impossible to keep up.)