The End of Sholshim

In Judaism the thirty day period following the death of a family member is called shloshim, which literally is the number thirty. This period also includes the initial seven day period that more people are familiar with; Shiva (seven) from which the phrase "sitting shiva" comes from.

The thirty day period makes a lot of sense. It is only now that I do not find myself tearing up at the slightest thought of Isabel, no longer feel the heavy weight of her departing when I pull into the driveway at night, knowing she won't be there. The pain is there, and always will be, but it is becoming more about knowing what I must live with, rather than wondering how I will...if that makes sense.

I have sometimes thought that perhaps I should have waited until Isabel's shloshim was over to bring a new addition into the family. In the end time is not a luxury that rescue dogs have. Their time is limited. Though Shelly was scheduled to go into a foster home, her adoption has made room for another dog that deserves a shot at more time to find her forever family as we like to say.

We found the right dog, really she found us, and she is alive and safe. In the end that's what Isabel would want most.

Certain things have been confirmed with her passing. She was a far greater friend, and source of joy and comfort than I truly understood. I always knew it, but not having her here brings real emphasis. Another is that our animals truly are family. I've always felt that way, but now I have a much greater appreciation of the potency and magic of the bond.

Memories of Isabel a flooding back too. I am writing them down, if only as a record for myself.

So now, moving out of shloshim, it is time to look forward as well as back. Shelly and her big sister are forming their own relationship. Further ways to honor Isabel are in the works. She is still my dog, and always will be. I hope I will always be able to learn from our relationship. In doing so, our relationship endures.