It's the same in any lingo

בַּת-בָּבֶל, הַשְּׁדוּדָה: אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיְשַׁלֶּם-לָךְ-- אֶת-גְּמוּלֵךְ, שֶׁגָּמַלְתּ לָנוּ
אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיֹּאחֵז וְנִפֵּץ אֶת-עֹלָלַיִךְ-- אֶל-הַסָּלַע


How can one be compelled to accept slavery? I simply refuse to do the master's bidding. He may torture me, break my bones to atoms and even kill me. He will then have my dead body, not my obedience. Ultimately, therefore, it is I who am the victor and not he, for he has failed in getting me to do what he wanted done. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? If not now, when? ~ Rav Hillel, Pirke Avot

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes
Wear It With Pride

08 April 2010

Shepard Smith: Fox Sharia News Useful Anti-Israel Idiot

With Glenn Beck and Charles Krauthammer crapping on Geert Wilders on Fox, no doubt a direct result of lucrative Arab backing, and the network owner Rupert Murdoch's desire to expand operations in the Arab middle east, Fox News pretty boy Shepard Smith has license to rip into Israel with all the style and panache of a typical Jew hating douche. He even says,
"...'cause any time you say one single word that isn't 'we love you Israel' you're an anti-semite."
No Shep, it's when you make a comment like that on TV that we can extrapolate that you're an anti-semite. Your total mischaracterization of the White House created crisis over Ramat Shlomo is just evidence of either your flat out stupidity, or your efficiency in swallowing your Arab masters' talking points.

Judith Miller saying she doesn't consider herself anti-Israel is like saying, "I'm not an anti-semite, I have a Jewish friend." Judith Miller also deserves special condemnation for her contribution to the eroding of journalistic standards. Good work douchebag.

But don't take my word for it...roll that beautiful bean footage.



For some background on the story they are referencing, (while they leave out virtually every important detail), I strongly suggest going over to Caroline Glick's place to read her summation. You can also read more over at here and here.

In the meantime, enjoy Latma's latest video, a redux of the Passover song Chad Gadya entitled Chad Bayta...One Little House, on the goings on with the current nonsense in the territories. The dorky looking idiot at the beginning of the video is Yariv Oppenheimer, another useful idiot who runs Peace (Israeli Suicide) Now. He should only be deported to Sweden.

Enjoy.

At Last, A Nachshon.

In this week's Torah portion we read about Aaron's sons Nadav and Avihu, who were vaporized in the Mishkan after bringing incense before Hashem that they had not been commanded to bring, the so-called "strange fire." As a result, they were consumed in fire.

We have seen quite a bit of strange fire being offered in Israel over the past year. First was the kowtowing to the Marack administration by Bibi Netanyahu when he pushed through a 10 month freeze, claiming it would soften the mood in Washington, and bring the terrorist kleptocrats of Fatah to the negotiating table so he could set about to the task of carving up the heartland of the Jewish people to create yet another terror state bordering Israel...because apparently Hamas and Jizbullah aren't enough of a problem. I personally think this was more about upsetting the religious power base in Judea and Samaria than making the White House happy.

Whatever the case, the plan has backfired completely as many of us predicted it would. Fatah refuses to negotiate, B"H, thanks to the White House and the Hate Defartment's desire to make more demands on Israel, while glad handing the Arabs and completely ignoring the fact that they commit attacks on Jews every day, not to mention the continuing rocket fire from the less "moderate" Arabs of Hamas (Remember that when you call an Arab terror faction "moderate" you mean that they only use firebombs, snipers, stabbings, rocks and axes to kill Jews...not rockets, which are used by radical Islamists like Jizbullah and Hamas...though now the idiot passing himself off as the leader of the "free world" thinks we should stop referring to Islamic radicals in terms of our national security...from now I suppose they will be known as detonationally effusive love-pixies.), and continue to teach their children that killing a Jew is better than Wii.

Then there is of course high priest of baal, Ehud Barak, who has been enforcing the illegal construction freeze with heartless brutality, and who also kicked the Har Bracha Yeshiva out of the Hesder program after its head, Rav Eliezer Melamed refused to tell his students to stop protesting the policy of evicting Jews from their homes as it is against the Torah. Of course Melamed eventually caved, discouraging his students from protesting while telling them that they should refuse to accept orders to eject Jews from their homes. So here we have two offerings of strange fire. Ehud Barak's anti-Torah policies, and Melamed's caving in to pressure to sign a declaration condemning Hesder student protests in the army, which he did in the most cowardly fashion.

Rather than signing a letter condemning Hesder soldier protests, he accepted the will of the majority of Hesder yeshiva heads that the protests should be condemned. In the end that didn't save him, and his yeshiva still got the boot from the program. As is the case when one consents to play ball with mamlachti idol worshippers, he failed to fully stand by halacha, and then got kicked in the teeth by the very force he desired to placate.

If the policy of evicting homes is against Torah, then it is the moral responsibility of every teacher of Torah to encourage their students to protest the policy and not be silent. He should have stood alone. He could have been an example, a light to the other yeshiva heads, and Hesder students. Instead, he rolled over. But it seems that at least one student of Har Bracha is showing the resolve of Nachshon.

A Har Bracha student has begun a work-to-rule strike, refusing to serve in the new Hesder track assigned to him. Facing possible jail time this young man is doing what his Rav would not: standing up to the high priest of baal in protest of the freeze, the ejection of Har Bracha from the Hesder program, and the government's anti-Torah policy of destroying Jewish homes and houses of worship. Apparently, the IDF Personnel Branch made Har Bracha students a variety of offers to get them to comply.

From Arutz-7
After the IDF Personnel Branch realized that the students would rather sit in jail than leave their yeshiva, [Uzi]Baruch [Hebrew Site editor for A-7] reports, the soldiers were apparently informed that they need not leave Har Bracha, but must merely “sign up” at another yeshiva. Only a few soldiers agreed to this arrangement, and the officers then made another offer: “Just say the name of another yeshiva, and we’ll take care of the rest.”

Most of the students agreed to this, but some holdouts remained, viewing it as a surrender to the notion that soldiers must agree to expel Jews. Some of them were therefore removed from the Hesder arrangement, and forced to complete three years in regular IDF service without yeshiva studies. At least one of them, however, refuses to accept the decree.

As of this morning (Thursday), the soldier, who serves in the Shimshon Battalion in the Hevron district, is carrying out what is known in Hebrew and other languages as an “Italian strike.” It was manifest by walking into his commander’s office, laying down his gun, and declaring, “I am not interested in leaving the Hesder and serving in the new track to which you have assigned me. I will sit and study in the synagogue or in my tent until the decision is changed.”
This one soldier is a Nachshon, a man willing to take a leap of faith in the name of defending the Torah, and HaKadosh Borachu, a young man unwilling to bring strange fire before the G-d of Israel. Perhaps his actions will inspire the Hesder Yeshiva heads to reconsider their position, and strengthen the resolve of the Hesder students, regardless of which yeshiva they belong, to continue to stand up against the illegal, anti-Torah policies of the current government of Israel.

B"H

07 April 2010

Exodus of the Matzah

So, you've just spent the last eight days eating matzah, and hopefully like me, had lots of home-cooked goodness. But what of the matzah?

It's just sitting there, waiting for liberation. Though I doubt there would be little in the way of poskim support for ending Pesach when the stewed fruit ran out, that might save people a lot of intestinal distress. Some of us are no doubt hoping at the moment that they had some assistance right now. For those of you who are currently having issues with blocked kishkes, here is a list of recommendations for opening up the sluices.

  1. Prunes...lots of them...about 5 lbs ought to do it.
  2. Dynamite
  3. A band of angels of evil.
  4. Any audio of Marack
  5. Roto-rooter.
And if none of those methods worked then I would say it was time to get serious...

04 April 2010

Speaking of Resurrection...

How auspicious that on a weekend when, coincidentally, Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, and Jews read of the resurrection of the dry bones, the Falacstinians would have a miraculous resurrection of their own.

Apparently the Hamas Health Ministry reported that Muhammad Zen Ismail Al-Farmawi was killed by the IDF in an incident in Rafah, in Azza. Miraculously it was reported by the Arab Ma'an news agency that he was in fact detained by the Egyptians.
“[i]t turns out Al-Farmawi was among 17 Palestinians detained by Egyptian forces shortly after [they] infiltrated the Egyptian side of Rafah via one of Gaza's numerous underground smuggling tunnels. The detainees, among them 12 minors, were returned to security forces at the border on Friday. They had been questioned about tunnel locations, leading to at least three closures, Egyptian security sources said.”
Though it's probably pretty hard for a 15 year old to top a miracle like resurrection, Hamas will no doubt attempt to get him to turn water into rockets, though what they really wish is that Al-Farmawi was still dead. After all, Noam Chomsky doesn't care if a boy is reunited with his parents.

We Shall Live Again


This week, Am Yisrael has been celebrating the Festival of Pesach, a time when we purge our homes of chametz (foods made of forbidden grains and leavening), and gather with friends and family to recount the story of our liberation from slavery, our redemption from the first exile from our land, and our formation as a nation, a people separate and distinct from all others.

We sit around the Seder table and recount the miracles that were done for us so that we could be engaged in national service for the Creator. We are compelled to relate the story of the exodus to our children, and to recall it as we ourselves were liberated from slavery; that all the customs, ceremonies, commandments are a part of our lives because of what HaKadosh Borachu did for us in Egypt.

As was pointed out to me by my rabbi, there is no biblical Hebrew word for history. Modern Hebrew has created the word “historiah,” but this is not a true Hebrew word. There is in fact no word for “history” in our language. What we have instead is memory: zachar.

Ours is a life-way that is passed down orally. For generations, the Mishnah, the oral law expounding on the commandments written down in the Torah, was passed down in deep study from one generation of scholars to the next, until it was codified into what is now, with the commentaries (Gemmorah), called the Talmud.

It is the same with the story of the exodus. It is told again and again, from one generation to the next in an unbroken chain of memory that spans more than 3 millennium. It is this long stretch of memory that keeps the Jewish people alive. Countless forces have attempted to sever the chain. Though many of have been lost, assimilated, or massacred, the chain continues.

Why then is it so hard for a people with such a tremendous store of knowledge and experience, to see that which is so obvious? Take the current state of affairs between Marack Pampers Pajama and Israel. This is a man who was raised in a leftist upbringing where Israel was vilified. His intellectual peers are known haters of Israel and the Jewish people: Rashid Khalidi, Edward Said, William Ayers… Forget the nut bag Jeremiah Wright, and the undisputed African American heavyweight of Jew Hate, Louis Farrakhan. Why do I say forget? Because while some twenty years ago, Jesse Jackson’s association to Louis Farrakhan, and his comments about New York being “hymie town” were more than ample to crush any possible hope of even liberal Jews from backing him, this was not the case with Marack.

For some reason Jews ignored Pampers’ associations, refusing to see them as indicative as to what kind of position he would take on Israel. Of course there are a great number of misguided Jews that think the Arabs are this oppressed people being held hostage by the Jewish state when in fact the exact opposite is true. Their own leaders oppress them. It is the Jewish homeland that is occupied and held hostage by them, and by Israel’s own impotent leaders whose Stockholm syndrome has led them to identify with their captors. American Jews who turn their backs on Torah and Jewish observance, who fail to relate the story of their exodus from Egypt have no real connection to Eretz Yisrael, and have nothing to really convey. What do they care about truth? What do they care about the land? These are people that believed Marack when he told them that his name in Hebrew means blessing. This is actually a ginormous lie. Baruch is blessed, bracha is blessing. Barak means lightning. But these Jews who have been so deeply separated from who they are just smiled warmly and nodded at the golden god of change and accepted that his name means “blessing.”

On Shabbat Chol Hamoed, the Sabbath that falls during Pesach, we read about Ezekiel’s prophesying over the dry bones. As a boy, this was conveyed to me as a vision of the future redemption of the Jewish people, as well as a promise of the future resurrection of the dead in the days of Moshiach. But Rashi relates to us the story that the resurrection of the dry bones did in fact take place in a valley where 200,000 members of the tribe of Ephraim were killed by Philistines (from whom the “Palestinians” are not descended. Nor are they descended from the Jebusites, Hittites, stalactites, stalagmites, or any of the other “ites” they have claimed to be in their chronic and pathetic attempts to be indigenous to the Land of Israel.), who were led out of Egypt by a false messiah. This is considered to be the climax of the redemption from Egypt.

I learned at the Shabbat table this week that it needs to be understood the text states that though the bones came back together, had sinew and muscle, and stood up out of the dust, there was no spirit within them. Ezekiel was commanded to prophecy a second time so that Hashem would breathe life into them. From this we learn that the redemption of our people is not simply physical, it must be one of the spirit as well. It is up to us to breathe that spirit into our children at the seder table, and at least try to get those of us who worship the White House resident to recognize the new pharaoh, and come back to their roots.

While I was taking a Shabbat nap yesterday some of the children were having Anne Frank’s diary read to them. This young Jewish girl was murdered by the Nazis more than 60 years ago, but the words she wrote have been translated into virtually every language, and is one of the world’s most read books. If the words of one murdered Jew can live on in such a way then what hope is there for those who plot against us?

We will have our freedom of spirit, body, and land. We shall live again.

28 March 2010

A Pesach Wish

While I'm finishing up the heavy kashering for Pesach, I thought I'd take a break to let everyone know that this blog will be closed for Pesach to Thursday Chol Hamoed, I may squeeze in a post Saturday night/Sunday and then will be closed for Yom Tov Sheni.

But I thought I'd leave you with a Pesach wish.

Passover is the celebration of the birth, redemption and liberation of the Jewish nation. Never forget that we are not simply a religion. We are a people, a nation, with a constitution called the Torah. We have a collective memory that reaches back beyond that of Europe, America, Arabs, and Islam.

On the nights of the Seder, the ceremonial service and meal in which recount to our children the story of HaKadosh Borachu liberating us from slavery in Egypt, we recall that we ourselves were in Egypt and were freed; that we witnessed the parting of the Yam Suf, and the revelation at Sinai.

We are now witnessing an unparalleled political assault on the homeland of Jewish people being led by the chief executive of the United States. He is the new Pharaoh, whose heart is hardened against our people, and who desires nothing less than to deny us our sovereignty over our land, and our Holy City of Jerusalem.

As the hardening of the heart of the nameless Pharaoh was done so that Hashem could liberate us from bondage, and show His strength to the world, so too may we merit to see the hardening of the new Pharaoh's heart leading to our ultimate liberation by Hakadosh Borachu. And like the Pharaoh then, the new one's name will also be forgotten, meaningless in the face of who we are, where we come from, and where we are ultimately headed, B"H.

May this be the year that we see the liberation of the Jewish heart and mind from the chains of Diaspora. May this be the year of the total liberation of the Jewish soul; and the total liberation of Eretz Yisrael from the occupation of the enemies of the Jewish people, and the total liberation of Jerusalem, free from those who would seek to divide her, and cut us off from her.

As it was then, so it is now. The waters of Yam Suf would not part until Nachshon braved the waters and demonstrated the faith and trust of the Israelite nation in Hashem. We must do so again. Though our homeland is harassed, pressured, and assailed, we must continue to stand up for what we know is right against those that would strip us of our very lives.

As we read in the Haggadah each year: This year we are slaves. Next year may we be free.

I say, may next year be this year.

Have a meaningful, safe, and joyous Pesach.

26 March 2010

For The Chicken Lady

I have the sad news to report that Dr. Chaya Hammer, aka The Chicken Lady, passed away Thursday night in Jerusalem. Baruch Dayan Emet.

At nearly 100 years old, Chaya Hammer gained renown as a woman of mitzvah for distributing $10,000 worth of chicken to needy Israeli families so they would have meat for Shabbat. As a child she and her family were imprisoned for seven weeks while attempting to cross the border of Romania and Russia. The hunger memory of her hunger never left her. When she saw poor families coming to collect the bones and skin from a local butcher, she decided that she would do what she could to see to it that these families had a proper chicken. The fund she started is now run by a great-granddaughter.


From Arutz-7:
From jail, the family moved to the Land of Israel, but was forced to leave their home in Haifa for the United States after about a year when Clara's mother took ill.

Chaya married Efraim Hammer at a young age, having met him at an event whose themes of Torah, Zionism, and the Hebrew language were to shape their shared lives together for the next several decades. Mrs. Hammer was known as an especially gifted and lively teacher; teachers in the Kingsway Jewish Center in New York City were approved only after passing through her class.

The Hammers lived in Pittsburgh, New York, and finally in Los Angeles, where they were instrumental in founding the area's first Orthodox synagogue and mikvah. "Their devotion to keeping the Sabbath and building Jewish life under difficult conditions was legendary," a grandson-in-law said.

In 1969 she and her husband finally fulfilled a life-long dream and made Aliyah (immigrated) to Israel. They lived, for the rest of their lives, in the first building to be built in Jerusalem's then-new Ramat Eshkol neighborhood; shiva will be observed in that home beginning Saturday night, but will be abbreviated by the onset of the Pesach holiday.

The Hammers were followed later on Aliyah by their three daughters and their families.

Chaya Hammer's devotion to feeding the poor shows us the best of Judaism, and how best to serve Hashem. Yeshiyahu reminds us that our adherence to ritual means nothing when we fail to clothe the naked, care for the orphaned and widowed, and feed the poor. As Pesach fast approaches remember to give for Maot Chittim, helping the hungry eat on Pesach. If you haven't done so yet, you can go to AMIT and fill out the Maot Chittim form here.

For the merit of Chaya Hammer, remember the hungry at Pesach, and all year long.

Shabbat Shalom.



24 March 2010

Bibi At The Crossroads

We've heard the ludicrous demands from Marack and the Secretary of Hate: Give up the eastern half of Jerusalem to the Arabs; make conciliatory gestures to the Arabs, surrender the heart of Eretz Yisrael. Bibi has already made it clear that building will continue in Jerusalem. But the White House and the world community at large still rants about "illegal" settlements, and Israel not wanting peace.

We need not talk about the world failing to even so much as wag a finger at the Arabs who openly express their bloodlusty desire to destroy Israel. It would have been far more honest for Hillary to go to AIPAC and say, "Israel, why won't you just die already? What the hell is the problem with you stupid Jews?"

Bibi went to Washington last year. Marack told him to approve the two state final solution, and freeze construction. He did as he was told...and got absolutely nothing in return but more demands, as anyone with half a brain knew would be the only thing that would happen. In the meantime, Fatah and Hamas are whipping up the street with the wind of Marack's hate of Israel in their sails. Salivating, clutching their forks and knives, the PLO waits for one of two things...more concessions from Israel, or an Israeli line in the sand as the pretext to launch the long planned third intifada.

The construction is frozen, with the 10 months ending September 26th. No doubt the White House will demand the freeze be extended, and Jerusalem must be included. Bibi must hold the line on Jerusalem or be deposed. But if he holds on to Jerusalem, what of Yesha? There is only when way to stop the onslaught, and the pernicious lie of "Palestinians;" to once and for all lay claim to all the territory liberated in 1967, and bring an end to the Arab occupation of our land. They talk of intifada. Israel must fight a war of liberation and bring an end to presence of Arab armies in Eretz Yisrael. We must make the Torah claim to the land, and be prepared to enforce that claim.

Bibi surely has seen the precipice. There will be no green light from the White House. No promise will be kept in exchange for Jewish concessions. No weapons shipments will be approved. China, India, Russia, and others will become the nations with whom Israel does business and the American "alliance" will be no more until there is leadership that refuses to acknowledge the false national aspirations of the "Palestinians" whose only goal is the genocide of the Jewish people; and until there is leadership who sets Jonathan Pollard free. If the United States was a friend of Israel, the information he is accused of passing to Israel would have gone through proper channels. But now that he has been unjustly imprisoned, a friend would set him free. Israel has no need to kowtow to those who sell their friendship for the price of suicide. That is not what friends do.

Translation: "Warning! PLO agent in the White House." In the corner it says: "The Land of Israel is ours!" Damn skippy it is.

Does Bibi have the ability to say what must be said? Can he say "Zo artzeinu," this is our land? Now is the time. The bloodlust will not end until we make the claim to what is ours, to what is the birthright of all the Jewish people, and our enemies are driven out. Not necessarily a land free of Arabs; a land free of Fatah, Hamas, the PLO, the PFLP, Islamic Jihad, the Islamic Movement, and al-Qaeda; a land free of the occupying Arab armies is a land where there can be peace. When Iran's nuclear program lays in ruins and the mullahs are deposed, we can have peace. We will always be hated, but we will have our country, a free country. Then the true liberation of Am Yisrael can begin.

Don't hold your breath. The initial word from JPost is concessions:
The Israeli team was working on a document to provide to the White House before Netanyahu’s planned departure on Wednesday night, later than originally expected, according to diplomatic officials in Jerusalem.

The document was “so far-reaching” that the prime minister and Barak needed to consult with the other five members of the inner cabinet known as the “septet,” according to one official, who noted that phone consultation with the ministers was expected before the document would be finalized.The document is believed to consist of a series of Israeli commitments to the US outlining confidence-building measures toward the Palestinians and a willingness to deal with the core issues – settlements, Jerusalem, refugees and security – during the proximity talks. The assumption is that the US will then take this document to the Palestinians, and to the Arab League, which is meeting in Tripoli, Libya, this weekend, and say that this was what Israel has agreed upon in writing.

“The prime minister is making every effort to leave Washington on a positive note and bring an immediate renewal of peace talks with Palestinians to fruition,” an Israel official stressed.

Bibi, the White House is not a friend of Israel. Nothing more needs to be done or said, but to stand up and say, "Zo artzeinu." Your people are behind you, though you don't deserve it. Earn that support now. Stand up, man. The man in the White House is an agent of Israel's destruction. Your allegiance must be to your nation, your people, and most of all to the G-d of Israel, not to a putz in the White House who walks on trail of lies and broken promises. The only gesture you need to make to Marack is the extension of a certain finger.

Bibi's Speech To AIPAC

Bibi's speech was rather subdued I thought, considering the times. But he did get to the heart of the matter: Jerusalem...Ir HaKodesh, the Holy City. And really, that's what this entire charade is about. Jerusalem is the red line. It is not, and cannot be negotiable. B"H, Ehud Olmert was the last Prime Minister of Israel to try to offer any part of the city to those genocidal thugs in Ramallah. It's not their city. They have no claim, nor any right to governance in any part of Eretz Yisrael. None. And once it is understood that this is the stance, the next step will be staunchly defending the sovereignty of the Jewish people over all of Judea and Samaria.

This was the heart of it:

Israelis are not colonialists from a foreign land. The connection between the Jewish people and the land of Israel cannot be denied. The connection of the Jewish people and Jerusalem cannot be denied. The Jewish people were building in Jerusalem 3000 years ago and are building in it today. Jerusalem is not a settlement. It's our capital. In Jerusalem, my government has maintained the policies of every single Israeli government since 1967...today nearly a quarter of a million Jews live just beyond the 1949 armistice lines. They are inextricable part of modern Jerusalem.

Hopefully the Pampers, Hillary, and Carp Face had their racist listening ears on. We are not giving up Jerusalem. It is not negotiable. Bibi also made clear to members of Congress that there would most likely be a lull in negotiations until the Arabs, and thus the US, drop the demand for ceasing construction in Jerusalem, and all of Yesha.

Bibi also telegraphed another message to Marack last night, regarding persistent rumors that he and his kapos will attempt to impose a settlement on the Israelis with Jerusalem being divided, and Israel being made to accept the '67 borders.
Peace cannot be imposed from the outside.
It was announced today that the Shepherd Hotel project received its final approval today. Twenty Jewish homes will be built on the site that used to house Haj Amin Al-Husseini, the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem who spent the Second World War with Hitler encouraging his genocide against the Jews, and famously called on Arabs to "Izbah al-Yahud," "Slaughter the Jews," in 1929 when he falsely accused the Jewish residents of the British Mandate of desecrating mosques, instigating massacres of Jews which the British did very little to stop. Funny, the scumbags are pulling the same crap today. Some things never change, and yet the world still thinks it would be in Israel's best interests to surrender to the Arabs. Hmm...I'm going with a no on that one.

So, how bunched are Marack's panties of the announcement, I wonder? I bet he gave himself a wedgie.

23 March 2010

A Carp Face Special For Lemon

This is for my blogging colleague, and sister in Red Sea Pedestrianness, Lemon (if you don't read her blog, you really should...she rocks!), who found herself with a tickled funny bone over my last post about our diplomatic nemesis George Carp Face Mitchell. Poor Carp Face. Poor poor Carp Face. After his successes in Ireland doing Guinness keg stands without vomiting, Carp Face set his sites on being the American that could successfully get Israel to commit suicide by surrendering the heartland of the Jewish people to the terrorist kleptocrats of "moderate" Fatah (They are moderate because they hang gays instead of throwing them off buildings like those heathens in Gaza, and use M-16s, knives, axes, and molotov cocktails to kill Jews instead of rockets).

But Carp Face just doesn't get any respect. Why Carp Face? Well, let us examine the empirical evidence.

Here is Carp Face vacationing in the tropics. After weeks of arm twisting and threatening Bibi with having to listen to Marack's "race speech" (also known as the "what racist preacher are you talking about?" speech) over and over until he converted, Carp Face took a well deserved break.

Here he is hiding from reporters from Arutz-7...


One thing you have to say about Carp Face is that he goes the extra mile for his country. Here is making love to an Asian diplomat in the hopes of gaining new dupes to secure American debt after the passing of the Stupulus package last year.

Though it's true that this incident ended with Carp Face leaving with a broken heart, you have to admire his stick-to-itiveness.

But perhaps his biggest let down was failing to get cast in the part of Admiral Ackbar in Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi...














Sorry man, you can't win 'em all. Maybe he should have pulled some moves on the couch at Skywalker Ranch.