Republic of Lakotah: Rebirth of a Nation

So much of my energy for the past year was tied up in the election that I missed something, something I had been hoping to see for a long time.  It wasn't until I received Debi McLeod's email calling for aid to Pine Ridge that I saw this (let this be a cautionary tale on the trap of myopia).   On 17 December 2007, a delegation of leaders of the Lakotah Nation delivered a message to the U.S. Department of State that they were unilaterally withdrawing from treaties between their nation and the United States.  Lakotah leader, and indigenous rights activist Russell Means declared, "We are no longer citizens of the United States of America and all those who live in the five-state area that encompasses our country are free to join us."  To that end the Lakotah have moved to establish what is being called the Republic of Lakotah.

Here is the Republic's partial statement on unilateral withdrawal.

“We as the freedom loving Lakotah People are the predecessor sovereign of Dakota Territory as evidenced by the Treaties with the United States Government, including, but not limited to, the Treaty of 1851 and the Treaty of 1868 at Fort Laramie. Lakotah, formally and unilaterally withdraws from all agreements and treaties imposed by the United States Government on the Lakotah People. Lakotah , and the population therein, have waited for at least 155 years for the United States of America to adhere to the provisions of the above referenced treaties. The continuing violations of these treaties’ terms have resulted in the near annihilation of our people physically, spiritually, and culturally.

Lakotah rejects United States Termination By Appropriation policy from 1871 to the present. In addition, the evidence of gross violations of the above referenced treaties are listed herein. Lakotah encourages the United States of America, through its Government,

to enter into dialogue with Lakotah regarding the boundaries, the land and the resources therein.

Should the United States and its subordinate governments choose not to act in good faith concerning the rebirth of our nation, we hereby advise the United States Government that Lakotah will begin to administer liens against real estate transactions within the five state area of Lakotah.

Lakotah, through its government, appointed the following representatives to withdraw from all the treaties with the United States of America based on the Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties entered into force in 1980 and the U.N. Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples 2007.”

Teghiya Kte Canupa
Heretofore known as Gary Rowland

Gluha Mani
Heretofore known as Duane Martin Sr.

Oyate Wacinyapin
Heretofore know as Russell Means

Mni yuha Najin Win
Heretofore known as Phyllis Young

Republic Of Lakotah P.O. Box 99 Porcupine SD 57772, SD 57772
http://wwwrepublicoflakota.com

Go here to read the full statement, including the legal basis for this action here.  

I, like every student in American public schools, was sold the legendary heroic tales of the European explorers (who mostly turned out to be slave traders and mass murderers), but never got much in the way of anything resembling a history of America's First Nations beyond the story that they were wild, blood thirsty savages that had to be subdued (and the Trail of Tears was really sad).  Nothing about their religions, cultures, history, languages...nothing; so I decided to educate myself.

Part of my research led me to my university's graduate library where there were volumes upon volumes containing every treaty made between the United States and Plains nations including the Cheyenne, Kiowa, Arapaho, and Lakotah.  My original theory was that these nations could invalidate these treaties based on the presence of illegitimate signatures.  Terms were set that certain numbers of members of each signatory band had to sign.  Many were just an "X", some were dead people (and you thought Chicago invented that game).  If a precise number of false signatures could be found, bringing the required number below that legal standard, then the treaties were never properly ratified, and thus invalid.  The wind of time makes this a difficult procedure at best, but not impossible.

There were obvious points before I began this research, the most glaring being that the United States government repeatedly violated treaties it signed with the bands of the Lakotah Nation.  But there was this missing piece, and of course it was right in front of my face.  Article VI of the Constitution of the United States:

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

Regardless of the protestations of the United States government, its breaking of treaties with the Lakotah, and other indigenous nations, was a violation of the Constitution.  But it wasn't until the signing of the Declaration of Indigenous Rights that the pieces could fall into place. 

Article 37 states:

1. Indigenous peoples have the right to the recognition, observance and enforcement of treaties, agreements and other constructive arrangements concluded with States or their successors and to have States honour and respect such treaties, agreements and other constructive arrangements.
2. Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as diminishing or eliminating the rights of indigenous peoples contained in treaties, agreements and other constructive arrangements.

Now, Lakotah leaders are at last standing up, with the full weight of constitutional and international legitimacy, and saying, as we did in 1776, "We have a country."  

The land represented in the territory of the Lakotah Republic encompasses all the territory that was granted to their nation in the Fort Laramie Treaty of 1868 (see the above map), a treaty the United States chose to violate after an expedition to the Paha Sapa (the Black Hills), led by George Custer no less, found gold there.  It is exactly as I envisioned it when I first read those treaties; that the Lakotah are entitled to take back all of that land and live a free life, as they never really legally surrendered it.

I have been arguing here that all three branches of the federal government have been acting in violation of the Constitution vis a vis FISA, the suspension of habeas corpus, and the SCOTUS decision to strike down the ruling of the 6th District Court of Appeals ruling regarding the voter registration fraud in Ohio.  I cannot demand constitutional legitimacy from the United States government in regard to my own liberties and freedoms without demanding it on behalf of the Republic of Lakotah, and all indigenous peoples with whom the U.S. treated, as well as recognizing the new Republic's sovereignty and borders.

For the record, Means and the other leaders of the Republic of Lakotah are not speaking on behalf of the entire nation, but in the recent tribal elections on Pine Ridge 45% of voters supported Means, the Freedom ticket, and independency. That means 45% of people on Pine Ridge are willing to give up the slavery of U.S. welfare and handouts in order to rebuild their nation free of the United States. The remaining 55% voted for dependency. It will be interesting to see how the Freedom ticket does on the other Lakotah reservations. I for one stand on the side of freedom.

In my view, in light of July 4, 1776, any American who fails to recognize the independence and sovereignty of the R.o.L. is a flaming hypocrite.

Here is Russell Means talking about the vision of Lakotah

Blessings of success, protection and peace to the Republic of Lakotah as you embark on this new venture.

                                         יְבָרֶכְךָ יְהוָה, וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ
                                  יָאֵר יְהוָה פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ, וִיחֻנֶּךָּ
                              יִשָּׂא יְהוָה פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ, וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם

May the Creator bless you and protect you.

May the Creator's countenance shine upon you and be gracious to you.

May the Creator's countenance shine upon you and grant you peace. 

Pine Ridge Updates. Russell Means Declares International State of Emergency

Russell Means, Lakotah activist and candidate for Tribal President, released the following statement regarding Pine Ridge:

Governor Michael Rounds of South Dakota has declared the State a disaster area. However, Indian Reservations are NOT included in the declaration.

I, Russell Means, due to the total absence of Tribal Government and its leadership, and as candidate for Tribal President and Chief Facilitator of the Republic of Lakotah, am declaring an INTERNATIONAL STATE OF EMERGENCY.

The reason for this declaration is two-fold: 1) The current life-threatening severe weather conditions and 2) The ongoing genocidal policies of the United States Government that still remain unaddressed:

Unknown thousands are still stranded by high snow drifts for 3rd straight day.

Unknown number of people without heat and/or electricity.

Impassable road conditions preventing emergency services and propane deliveries.

Confirmed fatality due to inability to get to dialysis treatment. Status of other dialysis patients is unknown.

Second fatality bled to death due to no emergency services.

Tribal President Steele and Vice President Brewer’s whereabouts unknown as reported by 

Officers of the Bureau of Indian Affairs (B.I.A.).
Officers rescue mother with new born and 2-year old child from heatless home.
Tribal Police dispatch unable to determine road conditions.
Wide-spread telephone service interruptions.
Hardest hit is the eastern portion of the Reservation, which includes Pass Creek, Eagle Nest and Medicine Root Districts. Also Red Shirt Table, Cuny Table, Slim Buttes,Oglala and Porcupine communities.
Unconfirmed reports of National Guard due to arrive today.
Genocidal Results of the Failed American Indian Policies of the United States Government:

MORTALITY:
Lakotah men have a life expectancy of less than 44 years, lowest of any country in the World (excluding AIDS) including Haiti.
Lakotah death rate is the highest in the United States.
The Lakotah infant mortality rate is 300% more than the U.S. Average.
One out of every four Lakotah children born are fostered or adopted out to non-Indian homes.
Diseases such as tuberculosis, polio, etc. are present. Cancer is now at epidemic proportions!
Teenage suicide rate is 150% higher than the U.S national average for this group.

POVERTY:
Median income is approximately $2,600 to $3,500 per year.
97% of our Lakotah people live below the poverty line.
Many families cannot afford heating oil, wood or propane and many residents use ovens to heat their homes.

UNEMPLOYMENT:
Unemployment rates on our reservations are 80% or higher.
Government funding for job creation is lost through cronyism and corruption.

HOUSING:
Elderly die each winter from hypothermia (freezing).
1/3 of the homes lack basic clean water and sewage while 40% lack electricity.
60% of Reservation families have no telephone.
60% of housing is infected with potentially fatal black molds.
There is an estimated average of 17 people living in each family home (may only have two to three rooms). Some homes, built for 6 to 8 people, have up to 30 people living in them.

DRUGS AND ALCOHOL:
More than half the Reservation’s adults battle addiction and disease.
Alcoholism affects 9 in 10 families.
Two known meth-amphetamine labs allowed to continue operation. Why?

DISEASE:
The Tuberculosis rate on Lakotah reservations is approx. 800% higher than the U.S national average.
Cervical cancer is 500% higher than the U.S national average.
The rate of diabetes is 800% higher than the U.S national average.
Federal Commodity Food Program provides high sugar foods that kill Native people through diabetes and heart disease.

INCARCERATION:
Indian children incarceration rate 40% higher than whites.
In South Dakota, 21 percent of state prisoners are American Indians, yet they only make up 2% of the population.
Indians have the second largest state prison incarceration rate in the nation.
Most Indians live on federal reservations. Less than 2% of Indians live where the state has jurisdiction!

THREATENED CULTURE:
Only 14% of the Lakotah population can speak the Lakotah language.
The language is not being shared inter-generationally. Today, the average age of a fluent Lakotah speaker is 65 years.
Our Lakotah language is an Endangered Language, on the verge of extinction.
Our Lakotah language is not allowed to be taught in the U.S. Government schools.

*******************************

To contribute to the relief effort, and the ongoing survival of the Republic of Lakotah follow this link.

Urgent! Pine Ridge Needs Help!

This email was forwarded to me from Debi McLeod from Native Americans Against Obama

Where is the Red Cross? Where is FEMA? Where is the National Guard?
The Lakota Reservation in South Dakota has been struck with a huge,
early season snow storm. Elderly people are without propane, there is
a great lack of food, medicine and warm winter clothing.

According tho the president of the Reservation, the State of South
Dakota is doing almost nothing. The roads are still not plowed and
people are dieing.

They need our help in way of wood, propane, warm winter clothing,
food and assistance with plows.

If you are in the area and have the heart to help these folks, go to
the Porcupine School or call 605-867-1111.

If you can, send money, call and get details on arrangements. If you
can send materials, as this is going to be a long winter for the sick
the elderly and the children, the address is

Republic of Lakotah
P.O. Box 99
Porucupine, SD 57772

Winters are brutal in this area, and this one is worse than they can
deal with. Any and all help will be remembered by the people for
their entire lives, and lives is what this is about.

Please, with our Holidays coming, help these people NOW while we can
still help. People are dieing right now.

Feel free to contact John for more information.

John Stroebel
PO 166 Centennial Wyoming 82055
307-745-3493

****************************

Please do what you can to assist the Lakota at this critical time.

For Our Veterans

I would be remiss if I didn't take a moment to honor the brilliant men and women who have stood up throughout our nation's history to defend our freedoms and liberties at home and abroad.  They have laid their lives on the line in the air, on land, and at sea so that the rest of might know comfort, peace, life, and liberty.  We continue to be who we are because they stand in our defense.

We have not always treated our veterans with the respect and rights that they deserve; anyone who has worked at, or known someone admitted to a VA hospital knows that.  I have never heard anything good about anyone's experience in these places.  

We must take the greatest care in sheltering our veterans when they come home from war.  We must help heal them as the scars of battle seldom fade simply with time and distance from action.

And I would hope that our elected officials, who send our men and women off to war to defend our freedoms and our Constitution, would remember that they too have taken oaths to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and that if they break that oath, they should think twice before sending others to fulfill it.  Liberty begins at home.  When you send our men and women to war you must live by example and protect our freedoms and our Constitution at home.  If you cannot, then you have no right to put one American in harms way. 

Don't you ever forget that.

To everyone who has served in our armed forces, thank you.

You Can't Handle The Truth

Maybe we were high on acid.  Were we high on acid?  We must have been high on acid.  But I swear that Obama won the nomination due to rampant caucus fraud, voter intimidation, and a DNC that manipulated the delegate count and rigged the convention to insure a predetermined outcome.  Oh wait...that is how he won the nomination.  It certainly wasn't because more people voted for him.

But now we have Steve Croft hiding the truth, glossing it over with sunshine, lollypops, and moonbeams.  He perpetuated the lie Obama made $600,000,000 from small internet donations, instead of the millions of dollars he took in illegal contributions from foreign nationals, and massive corporate bundling by lobbyists and pacs (the same ones he said he wasn't taking them from).

Croft let Axelgoebels and company go on and on about how race was not discussed, instead of how the campaign played the race card to crush dissent, and silence critics in the primaries, and the general election.  You will nearly vomit when David Plouffe says that when Obama delivered his "race speech" he looked presidential, instead of trying to distract everyone from the fact that he was a 20 year member of a black liberation theology church that foments hate for non blacks, Jews, gays, and America whose bigoted preacher, a man whom Obama  called an uncle and a mentor, married him, and baptized his children.

He let them go on and on about their grassroots effort, instead of exposing the connection between the Obama campaign, it's defrauding the FEC, and its use of ACORN to launch a nationwide campaign of voter registration/voter fraud.

This is not the 60 Minutes that I grew up on; the 60 Minutes where political fraudmasters were exposed, with the truth stapled to their foreheads.  No, that 60 Minutes is dead and gone.  It is no surprise that Walter Cronkite has largely been silent through this lovefest.  People with integrity know better.

But after all that whitewashing came the kicker.  The puppet master, the man who groomed Obama, filtered his life, covered his tracks, and made him the empty suit he is, David Axelrod, is going to be in the White House with his creature.  We've already had two years of unreality courtesy of Mr. Axelrod.  Now we're doomed to four more.  Nothing good will come of this.

Chris "'til the juice runs down my leg" Matthews now believes it is his mission to make the Obama presidency work.  An admission that the whitewash must continue?  Lord knows the media didn't let the truth stand in their way before.

We must be the media now and get the truth out to all who will listen.  Blog radio, podcasts, blogging, printing of leaflets, creation of newspapers and magazines.  We must become the new Hearsts because the lies will continue to be told by the mainstream media until they are no longer able to make money off telling the lies.  And that's what it's all about.  So if you haven't done so already, cancel that subscription to the New York Times, Newsweek, Time, etc.  Stop watching the network news, and start finding the truth out for yourselves, because, "There are no truths outside the gates of eden."

Now, get your barf bag handy because here's the whitewash courtesy of Steve "I am not a journalist" Croft and the rest of the clowns at 60 Minutes.

Watch CBS Videos Online

And now detoxify with Bob:  At times i feel there are no words but these to tell what's true.  Will you live inside, or outside the gates of Eden?  I prefer truth.  How about you?

A New News Network Arises

In response to the main stream media's continued reality altering lovefest with Pampers I have taken matters into my own hands and have created my own news network: SHTUEY NEWS NETWORK.  Like MSNBC, CNN, NBC, CBS, and ABC I have decided to create my own reality where I deliver whatever news I like.  I might be reporting on Pampers eating babies one day, and Joe Biden making love to a chicken the next.  It's anything goes at Shtuey's News Network.  And if you've made up a story that you think we'd be interested in running, feel free to submit it to the comments section of any post here at Oh...my valve!  As always, comments are moderated here so your story will be seen by my eyes only until publication (I reserve the right to judiciously edit any and all articles).

So drop by the Shtuey News Network to read all the news that's fit for me to make up.

The Crisis

In 1776 Thomas Paine began writing a series of essays that are now collectively known as The Crisis Papers.  The first of these dated 23 December 1776 moved General Washington to have it read to his soldiers at Valley Forge.  Here is the famous opening paragraph:

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated. Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to TAX) but "to BIND us in ALL CASES WHATSOEVER" and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.

As we did in 1776, we now face a crisis.  Not from a foreign power that seeks to maintain dominion over us, but from our own government, that will soon be controlled by a political party that violated it's own charter, and federal election law, in order to secure the White House, and no doubt more seats in the Congress (as yet I have not found cases of this applied directly to Congressional races but, considering the illegal voter registration activities of ACORN on behalf of the Democrat Party, I think it is safe to assume that Democrat Congressional candidates also benefitted from illegal activity; they are free to disprove my statement upon which I will detract it).

As we have seen, and as I have written here many times, the federal government itself has taken action in the face of popular opposition; chiefly the passing of a FISA bill that does not abolish warrantless wiretapping, and grants retroactive immunity to telecom companies that participated in the program, and the passing of the $700 billion financial rescue package that the majority of Americans did not want.  When our elected representatives, whose primary duty is to vote according to the wishes of their constituents, vote against the will of the people, clearly we have a government that is broken, no longer serves the interests of the people, and that is in violation of the social contract laid out in the Declaration of Independence.  The same can be said for the President, who tapped our phones without warrants, in direct violation of the Fourth Amendment.

A government that passes laws, over the objection of the people, a violation of its founding principles, is a government to whom you do not owe allegiance.  You do not pledge allegiance to the federal government.  The pledge of allegiance is to the flag, it is to our nation.  The federal government is not the nation.  The nation is We The People.

The sunshine patriot, the summer soldier, stands up and cheers over the election of a fraud and liar, and then goes back to sleep.  If you say "country first," if you understand that we are a nation of laws, not men, and you stand up and just say no deal, then you are, as Paine suggested, worthy of the love of all men and women.

How do we resist?  If the federal government is going to ignore our will, then what's to stop us from doing the same?  We employ the principles of our Founders, of Thoreau, of Gandhi, of King.  If the government passes a law that we did not support, do we have any obligation whatsoever to be bound to it?  The Congress is obligated to pass laws based on our desires, not based on what they think is best.  For too long they have done the latter.  The time has come to say, "No more!"  Either do what we tell you to do, or we will use our powers under the Constitution of the United States to create governing institutions that exercise our will.  It's very simple.  But this cannot work unless every American stands up and holds their representatives accountable.  If a bill is scheduled to be voted on that you feel is against your interests then make your voice heard.  Call your legislators.  Better yet, go to their offices.  If they vote against your interests then go back and demand to meet with them and speak your mind.  Take out an ad in the paper, or put up a poster publicly that states the events that transpired, and how your rights were violated, how your voice was ignored.  The only reason why this happens to us again and again, on our dime no less, is because we allow it to happen.  WE ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN.  How much longer will you let this pass?  Until there are cameras in your house?  Until your bank account is an open funnel to the government that can seize your assets when they like for any reason?  Until you, your sons, and your daughters are conscripted to fight in a war that you did not support or sanction?  This is your country.  Stand up and keep it that way.  

The people in our federal government are not evil.  They are drunk with power.  It's time we sobered them up.  It's time we imposed term limits.  It's time we had direct oversight of our elected officials.  It's time that we create citizen assemblies with veto power.  It's time for us to take responsibility for this republic, as our elected officials are doing nothing but making a mess of it.

But don't listen to me.  Listen to Thomas Paine who made the case far more eloquently than I:

Quitting this class of men, I turn with the warm ardor of a friend to those who have nobly stood, and are yet determined to stand the matter out: I call not upon a few, but upon all: not on this state or that state, but on every state: up and help us; lay your shoulders to the wheel; better have too much force than too little, when so great an object is at stake. Let it be told to the future world, that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet and to repulse it. Say not that thousands are gone, turn out your tens of thousands; throw not the burden of the day upon Providence, but "show your faith by your works," that God may bless you. It matters not where you live, or what rank of life you hold, the evil or the blessing will reach you all. The far and the near, the home counties and the back, the rich and the poor, will suffer or rejoice alike. The heart that feels not now is dead; the blood of his children will curse his cowardice, who shrinks back at a time when a little might have saved the whole, and made them happy. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death. My own line of reasoning is to myself as straight and clear as a ray of light...if a thief breaks into my house, burns and destroys my property, and kills or threatens to kill me, or those that are in it, and to "bind me in all cases whatsoever" to his absolute will, am I to suffer it? What signifies it to me, whether he who does it is a king or a common man; my countryman or not my countryman; whether it be done by an individual villain, or an army of them? If we reason to the root of things we shall find no difference; neither can any just cause be assigned why we should punish in the one case and pardon in the other. Let them call me rebel and welcome, I feel no concern from it; but I should suffer the misery of devils, were I to make a whore of my soul by swearing allegiance to one whose character is that of a sottish, stupid, stubborn, worthless, brutish man. I conceive likewise a horrid idea in receiving mercy from a being, who at the last day shall be shrieking to the rocks and mountains to cover him, and fleeing with terror from the orphan, the widow, and the slain of America.

It's your nation people.  What are you going to do about this?

Where Do We Go From Here?

Readers and colleagues have been calling and emailing regarding my take on the next move.  Some are considering forming a new party.  Some are considering reforming the Democrat Party.  Some are thinking about gathering independents and centrists from both parties to form a coalition of voters that can shift the parties to the middle which is where most of us are politically.  All of these are valid strategies that need to be examined. 

One thing is certain, a new political force in this country, in the hands of The People, is necessary to break the stranglehold that partisanship and failed representative democracy has locked around our necks.  It is rapidly reaching a tyrannical level.  If you don't believe me consider Pampers' proposal for mandatory community service and the debate regarding the seizing of our 401Ks.

In a time when our federal government is operating in violation of the Constitution of the United States (congratulations to Justice David Souter for issuing a Writ of Certioari in the Berg v Obama case demanding that Pampers produce a real birth certificate by 1 December 2008--he may be the last bulwark of constitutional legitimacy left in federal government), I believe our first priority must be to rein in the federal government by imposing term limits on Congress, and by shifting to a participatory democracy model, as I have stated in previous posts.  If we fail to do so a new party or political structure will be of no significance.  Voting doesn't mean shit in this country when candidates and political parties can violate FEC rules without being challenged, and all three branches of government are running amok unchecked.

A reader here touched on this sentiment when they posted:

We need to get every person who cares about America to commit to an agenda that truly transcends party, one that restores integrity to the process itself, that prioritizes the question of securing (or rescuing!) the system from corruption - for instance, how to keep the flow of information from being corrupted, and how to ensure elections are not corrupted.
If we do not have these things, all the other issues are totally out of our hands.

I couldn't agree more!

As for Oh...my valve!  I will continue to write on what moves me, whether it is political or not, doing my best to inject the words poo poos, wee wees, douchebag, and fuckface, when appropriate.  My defense of our unalienable rights, and criticism of the federal government, including Pampers, will continue as necessary (I expect this will be rather a lot), as long as the 1st Amendment is still upheld in this country.  I will also be keeping a close eye on Senator Clinton to see whether she is going to remain a lioness for real democracy, or transform into a complete Pampers toady.

I invite you to supply any tidbits you come across, and join the discussion.  I am considering taking comments out of moderation in the hopes that post election Pamperbots are too busy circle jerking to the election night speech to bother coming here.  Of course if they do, their comments will be removed and they will be publicly humiliated (that's what you brownshirts get for being such complete assholes across the internet for the past year and a half).  

So grab onto something and hang on.  The coming year might just make 2008 look like a carnival.

Now here's one I'm sending out to that great media whore of the blogosphere; Taylor Marsh. She sacrificed what little credibility she ever had, her principles (that's assuming she ever had either), and the women's movement, to support the sexist, misogynist, and undemocratic Pampers in the hopes of getting some access, and an audience of unlimited Pamperbots.  She said she'd never compromise with the mystery tramp.  But when she realized he wasn't selling any alibis she decided to just go along like a good little brownshirt.  I'd ask her how she feels, but those who compromise themselves tend to keep numb with substances, or adulation.  I'll just let Bob do the talking.  I'm particularly fond of this version with the Band (minus Levon Helm who went home because he was tired of being booed at every show), from Bob's 1966 European tour.  High energy, and lots of piss and vinegar.  Ya gotta love it.

Congratulations Pampers, You Finally Did Something I Respect

Due to Obama supporters' constant demand for substance, the major discussion at www.pampersasskissers.com is all about the First Dog.  In a stunning development it has been decided that the OPampers family will be getting a shelter dog.  As a proponent of shelter adoption (see mine pictured in the side bar) I applaud this decision.  Millions of animals are put to sleep in shelters across the country every year.  That's millions of cats and dogs that only want a warm place to live so they can provide you with an endless supply of love.  Because of the way your party, your pet organization ACORN, and people like your campaign finance chair have raped our housing market and economy, families across the country have found themselves having to take their family pets to shelters because they can't afford to take care of them.  You can afford to be altruistic.  Adopt two dogs.  And publicly adopt Senator Clinton's economic plan so people can afford to stay in their homes, get back to work, and get their family out of the shelters. 

Now, it may be that this decision is nothing more than yet another Pampers publicity stunt.  As long as the dog is loved, taken care of, and spoiled rotten like every shelter dog and cat should be, I have no problem with that.  Now if this turns into an Ellen DeGeneres style fiasco that will be another story.

Some advice for the Pampers family on making their choice, and some care tips:  

1. Take the breed mix into consideration.  Just because your dog will most likely be a mutt (there are pure bred dogs in shelters, as well as breed specific rescues so if there is a type of breed that is suited to you languishing in a shelter don't hesitate to adopt it), doesn't mean it won't have those traits.  One of my dogs has some Jack Russell and beagle.  This is a 40 lb dog with a 4.5 foot vertical leap and a lot to say.  For example, dogs with a lot of working/hunting dog in them may not be the best for you, unless you plan on giving them appropriate activities to challenge them and use their bred-in skills.  Terrier mixes can be great dogs (but they can also be a challenge).  Certain breeds, like Cairns, could turn the White House grounds into a World War I battlefield, but they will also cut down on your vermin problem.  So choose wisely, play with your dog, exercise him/her, and love it!
2. Shelter dogs can be prone to separation anxiety.  This is a real syndrome that, if left untreated, can cause psychological and emotional problems for your dog.  Don't panic!  A dog suffering from separation anxiety can be treated with training, and in some cases medication.  If your dog is displaying symptoms (excessive whining while you're gone, causing damage to floors, window frames, furniture, etc; stress) you should consult your veterinarian, who may refer you to, or work in conjunction with, a behaviorist.  One of my dogs suffered from a terrible case of sep anx.  I used a combination of training and medication to help treat her (she was on two types of medication for a while).  With love, patience, and proper treatment, you can help alleviate and possibly cure any dog of this syndrome.  My dog is now off medication and is happy and healthy.  Do not underestimate the damage that can be done to your dog if this goes untreated.  It can be debilitating.  But as I said, it is very treatable (your kids are going to be a big part of the training process, and they will learn a valuable lesson about kindness to animals).  So if your dog ends up having separation anxiety don't throw your hands up and take the dog back.  Work with your dog and help him/her get healthy.  The reward of undying love will far out way the cost in time and medication.
3. Keep in mind that some shelter dogs were dumped there by abusive families.  This happened to one of my dogs.  She was emaciated and nervous when she was dumped at the shelter where I found her.  She was so neglected that she didn't even know what to do with a ball.  She had some issues, but again, with love, patience, and a doggy class, she has blossomed into one of the most loving dogs in the history of dogdom.  She is also a fierce protector of her family.
4. Foods to avoid: no onions (in any form!!!), no grapes, no garlic in large quantities.  There are a lot of foods and plants that dogs should avoid.  There are a lot of websites with good information on this.  Here's a list.  Consult a variety of lists because they're not all complete.  Dogster.com is a great resource.  It's like MySpace for dogs.  Here's another great resource for animal health.
5. The most important factor in your dog's health is diet and exercise.  Since you are a family of means you can afford the best diets available; do your dog a favor, do not feed it kibble.  Despite the growth of fancy ass dry dog foods, whole foods are best.  Kibble doesn't deliver optimal nutrition and isn't good for doggy teeth.  Not everyone can afford the higher quality kibbles, especially in today's economic climate that your party has dropped in our laps, but that isn't an issue for you.  Consider a raw or home cooked diet.  Avoid grains.  There are lots of grain free diets out there.  There is no reason for you to feed your dog Purina, Iams, Pedigree, or other such bags of poo (these companies use low grade food sources, often with nasty chemicals in them because their meat ends up with euthanized animals in it...seriously.  There are also nasty preservatives in them.  If you're going with a kibble diet, feed wet food as well.  I avoid foods with BHA/BHT, ethoxyquin and menadione sodium bisulfite.  I also avoid foods with the word "by-products" in the ingredient list, and only use foods whose ingredients lists starts with a meat protein (chicken, lamb, as opposed to chicken or lamb meal).  Do some research.  Don't feed your dog crap.  Being in the aristocracy you can afford to consult a dietician if you want (for the record I am not shitting on people who feed their dogs super market kibbles, but if you can afford a better diet do some research and change your pet's food; they'll be healthier in the long run, and you'll end up saving money as you don't have to feed as much food because it's more nutritious).  Prepared foods I recommend are:

• Evo
• The Honest Kitchen
• Evangers canned meats
• Orijen
• Wellness Core
• Nature's Variety
  

SHELTER DOGS ROCK!!!

Remember, your dog is the most vulnerable member of your family, and, god willing, it will be a member of your family for a long time.  It's like having a toddler that never grows up.  So take care of your dog.  Play with your dog.  Love your dog.  Feed it well, and always have clean, filtered (or distilled) water available.  And provide lots of exercise.  

Don't fuck this up.  Nothing works up the ire of the public faster than someone who doesn't treat their dog well.  You can't throw your dog under the bus like you have done to so many of the people in your life.  You are making this commitment for life.  Be this dog's forever family or you'll be in deep doodoo with a lot of people.  Animal lovers are a lot less forgiving than ordinary voters.

PS The people at PETA are a bunch of yahoos who think that domestic animals should not exist so don't ever ever ever let anyone from PETA near your dog.  In fact, don't let them near the White House.  PETA nutcases kidnap and euthanize dogs and cats (though considering the fact that PETA uses Alinsky tactics like you and ACORN you might like PETA; try developing a conscience).  We had a rash of that in North Carolina and other places.  For a quick look at how fucked up PETA is watch the videos below (warning, explicit language, and some graphic footage of animal cruelty; cover your kids' ears, and possibly eyes).  

And just to clarify my position: I believe the abuses and inhumane treatment of animals should end.  I buy meat that is raised locally, raised and slaughtered humanely and treated with respect (I am fortunate to live in an area where this is possible).  I believe the future of agriculture is local farming.  It helps avoid expensive and environmentally unsound interstate transportation (exception for Hawaii), promotes healthier conditions, agricultural practices, and better quality food.  Basically, I do my best to make humane choices, but I'm not giving up eating meat.  I'll go vegetarian when lions go vegetarian.  I also have nothing against people trying to raise awareness regarding animal cruelty.  But I do not condone the use of violence, extortion, etc.  And the fact is that in a lot of cases animals make better companions than people so I don't support the abolition of domestic animals.  As long as they are cared for and treated with respect I have no problems.  

Here's an organization I have no problem supporting.  American Humane.  Like me, American Humane supports the Pampers family position regarding adopting from a shelter.  If Pampers only keeps one promise I hope it's this one.

Now, on with the show!

What Exactly Is The Office of the President Elect?

So if you happened to catch Pampers' press conference today you saw a placard on his lectern that said, "Office of the President Elect" with a tiny version of the Barackadential Seal on it.  He's still trying to convince us that he can do the job, while looking more and more like he can't.  I am filled with confidence.  It was very reassuring seeing him standing with his tutors, rattling off more cliches.  Awesome dude! 

Warning: Do not watch all 18 minutes of this, it might give you gas.

I couldn't help but notice that Pampers is making sure everyone knows that former Clinton administration advisors are part of his tutoring team (we already know Pampers had to talk to Big Dawg because the man who fell from Planet Asshat hasn't a clue as to what the hell he's doing).  Funny, I don't see Senator Clinton among them.  Here's her statement on the October jobs report:

“Under the Bush Administration, the American economy has lost jobs for 10 straight months. Today's report contains the worst unemployment rate in 14 years with our economy now having lost more than 1.2 million jobs in this last year alone. The Bush Administration has the worst job creation record of any administration since the Great Depression.

Businesses large and small are struggling to secure financing to survive. Families cannot find affordable mortgages and consumer loans. The housing crisis has wiped out hundreds of billions of dollars in home equity and grows deeper every day. This final chapter of the Bush Administration's ill-conceived economic policies cannot end soon enough.

We are in a recession and we must act decisively and wisely to change course, hasten a recovery, and reform the broken economic policies that will be the sad and disastrous legacy of the Bush Administration. Under a Democratic Congress and Administration, we will have the ability to do precisely that. In the coming weeks, as we consider a stimulus package, I believe we should pursue several goals that will help restore stability to our markets and financial system.

One, we must prevent another wave of looming foreclosures that will drive down home values and the broader financial markets. Twenty percent of Americans now hold mortgages that exceed the value of their homes. We must prevent as many unnecessary foreclosures as possible by rewriting mortgages for families committed to making monthly payments and acting responsibly. I have proposed, and will introduce, the Home Owners' Mortgage Enterprise, or HOME Act, to buy and rewrite mortgages at risk of failure. This is based on the successful Home Owner's Loan Corporation created during the Great Depression by President Roosevelt, which not only saved more than one million homes but also turned a profit while staving off foreclosures and preventing wider home values from falling further. We also should consider jump starting the housing market with a temporary tax credit to address record levels of low demand.

Two, a stimulus package should help displaced workers and struggling middle class and hardworking families. Extending unemployment insurance benefits for the hundreds of thousands of workers who will soon exhaust their benefits is necessary to ease the burden on those families who continue to seek work. Aid for struggling families facing higher home heating bills this winter must also be an urgent priority.

Three, we should also help our distressed states and cities. Our states, many of which face record budget shortfalls, need fiscal aid in order to fill their budget holes without having to sacrifice their critical health, social, and public safety services.

And four, we should consider steps to create jobs in the near term by targeting a stimulus that will not only boost the economy now but pay dividends in the future. For example, providing resources for states to begin construction on "fast-tracked" infrastructure projects will help create hundreds of thousands of new jobs while fixing our crumbling roads and deteriorating bridges, creating room for the economy to grow.

The challenges we face are daunting, and today's jobs report clearly shows that the road to recovery will be difficult. But it is imperative that we take these urgent steps that will kick start our economy and hasten our recovery.”

So Camp Pampers, when you decided to go with your messiah over Hillary, was it because of his blue ties, his smile, or do you just hate women? No, it's probably more like this: having someone in the White House that possessed the capacity to develop her own solutions, and not have to act (complete with Malibu Barry stage sets) like a leader in order to convince people she is...well...that would just make too much fucking sense wouldn't it?

I suspect it's probably just as painful for Senator Clinton to watch the man from Planet Asshat flounder about while the nation struggles as it is for us, especially when it is patently obvious she knows what the hell to do, and so obvious that he has not one clue.

Way to fucking go America.

Saying, "I told you so," has never been more satisfying, or more painful.

Oh, and how's that notion of the government seizing your 401K sounding right now? Eat shit Camp Pampers.