Happy Frickin' Chanukah

Time for a Chanukah rant.  First, let's set the record straight.  The OMV readership is a pretty sophisticated bunch; intelligent, well read, great taste in music, politically active, with a penchant for jokes involving poo poos and wee wees...my kind of people.  Most of you will already know this, but for those who stumbleupon this blog, here's a note:  Chanukah is not the Jewish Christmas.  It has nothing to do with Christmas at all...no, not even remotely.

Chanukah is one of those hybrid holidays.  It is a celebration of Jewish nationalism; celebrating the Hasmonean defeat of King Antiochus and his legion of pig eaters who banned the study of Talmud, tortured, raped and murdered Jews, and defiled the Temple in Jerusalem with pigs and idols.  But Chanukah is not simply another marking of a moment where outnumbered and outarmed Jews kicked goyishe ass.  

The word chanukah means "re-dedication."  It is a reference to the retaking and cleansing of the Temple.  This is where the miracle of the oil comes in.  The menorah (the seven branched candelabra described in the Torah) needed to be rekindled.  Olive oil, inspected by a priest, was used.  There was only one cask of oil still bearing an intact priestly seal, the only way to verify that it had not been contaminated by goyishe cooties, which we all know contain lard based nucleotides.  This amount of oil should only have lasted one day (I have always wondered whether this is because the casks were so small, or because the menorah's system was inefficient...when Pampers assumes his messianic mantle and the Temple is rebuilt I hope that one of his first decisions is to make the menorah more fuel efficient).  Instead, the oil lasted for eight days, long enough for more oil to be produced (the production of oil for Temple use was banned under the occupation, as opposed to the banning of all olive oil production, which would be plain stupid as olive oil is the elixir of life), and inspected by a priest.

Ah, the priests.  Here's an oft looked aspect of the story.  The Maccabees, a family clan led by Mattathias, were Hasmonean.  They assumed control of the Temple Priesthood, as well as the throne of Judah, which apparently caused a great deal of controversy among Jews, and precipitated the conflict between the Pharisees and Sadducees, which eventually led to the Jewish joke that if you put two Jews together you'll have three opinions...it's true...what, you never saw Fiddler on the Roof?  On the other hand.......

If the Hasmonean revolt has proven anything it's that you can't keep people perpetually separated from their freedom.  If you try you will get screwed one way or another.  Just ask Israelis and Palestinians.  There isn't anyone in Israel who truly thinks in their hearts that the status quo is good, or that the security barrier is good, or that Palestinians living in abject poverty is good, with the exception of those who are making a lot of money on all three ventures; on either side of the barrier.  

What?  That's right, there are Arabs in the territories making money, and lots of it, as a direct result of the current situation in the territories.  Here are the names of two of them: Saeb Erekat, and Mahmoud Abbas.  Erekat is a negotiator for the Palestinian Authority (you remember them, they used to be called the PLO, a terrorist organization dedicated to the destruction of Israel...whoops!  they still are...ho ho ho).  Mahmoud Abbas is the head of the PLO.  Both of these guys drive fancy foreign cars and wear Italian suits.  They are doing quite well for themselves while their so-called brethren live in abject poverty.  Why?  Because the PLO has the guns and they like it that way.

Historically, the single largest benefactor of the Palestinian people was the State of Israel.  Millions of dollars of medicine, food, materials, cash, and even weapons were sent to the Palestinian "leadership."  Finally the Israelis wised up when the guns got turned on them by the Palestinian "security forces."  Like here in the United States, and just about everywhere else in the world, the thugs in charge of the Palestinians have no vested interest in using this aid to help anyone.  Instead they drive the aforementioned cars, wear the aforementioned suits, and continue to fund the posh Parisian lifestyle of Yassir Arafat's widow, if she is in fact still alive.  Very telling isn't it that the wife of the so-called founding father of the Palestinian people doesn't even live on the same continent.  What was that, let them eat pita?

Now the Israelis aren't helping matters with their inconsistent policies, tearing down olive trees, soldiers violating international law by using Arabs as human shields against people throwing rocks at them, building more housing in disputed areas....but on the other hand, it's hard to get anywhere when the people you are supposed to be negotiating with don't recognize your right to exist and are still dedicated to your destruction.

What?  I thought Abbas was a moderate.  

Ha ha.  Sorry folks.  When you attend your annual events marking what you call "The Great Tragedy" aka Israeli Independence Day, you are not a moderate.  Fatah is just as dedicated to destroying Israel as Hamas.  What's the difference?  Hamas wants to establish a Muslim caliphate in Israel, while Fatah has no religious center other than let's keep taking all the money. 

I'm certainly not going to advocate putting pressure Israel to negotiate with parties that want to destroy her, which is the failure of the majority of leftist peaceniks.  They don't get that.  The solution to the crisis is not forcing Israel to allow the creation of a hostile state on indefensible borders, which is exactly what American leftists want.  The solution is a federation based on security, respect, and economic symbiosis.  This is not going to happen until the international community stops treating Abbas like he's some kind of diplomat or head of state.  He is a terrorist who wants to kill Jews and has shown nothing substantive to prove otherwise.  He has not disarmed the terrorist groups that he controls, nor has he taken any steps to legalize the Palestinian recognition of Israeli sovereignty.  

The international community, if they are so concerned about the suffering of the Palestinian people, which they should be, will move to completely isolate and dismantle Hamas and Fatah and cultivate leadership among the Palestinians that share the goals I stated above.  That is, if they want peace between the Arabs and Jews.  If they want Israel destroyed they will continue pushing the failed roadmap to crap, and dealing with the thugs who are responsible for the poverty and suffering of the Palestinian people.  With the billions upon billions of dollars that have been funneled into the hands of these gangsters by the Israelis, the UN, the World Bank, etc every Arab in the West Bank and Gaza should have a home, running water, electricity, a job, and access to healthcare.  There should be no suicide bombers, rockets, terrorists, etc.  What happened to all that money?  Hmm...maybe that's a task for Diamond Tiger.

So no, the solution is not more concessions from the Israelis, who get screwed every time they make them.  The solution is to get the gangsters out of power.  Who's got the spine to do that I wonder?  Surely not the Resident-Reject.  I'm thinking more along the lines of the lady in the pantsuit.

Senator Clinton, your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to lead the international effort to cultivate Palestinian leadership that will be based on peace with Israel, not predicated on her destruction (the sole modus operandi of the Palestinian body politic since its creation by Yassir Arafat), the economic and social well being of the Palestinians, and the establishment of an open federation that could possibly turn out to be the new economic engine of the region.  But somehow I don't think the Saudis, Syrians, and Iranians are going to like that.  I guess we could always fall back on the old stand by: blame the Jews.

Trying to force Israel to negotiate with the current leadership is only going to lead to more of the same, and the pawns in all this will continue to suffer.  And the torture and killing of Jews in Mumbai, a tiny and obscure population in a greater metropolitan area of 20 million, is further demonstration that a Jewish homeland is still a necessity.  But it seems that the world just takes it for granted that we get killed, and is okay with that.

So this Chanukah, let's dedicate ourselves to the notion that peace can only be achieved through sanity, and cannot be made with greedy megalomaniacs.  Sorry Pampers, you stay home and play with your Wii and let the lady handle this.  You're in way over you head.  I believe the Middle East is above your pay grade anyway.

And please, all those of you celebrating Christmas, tomorrow, stay home with your loved ones.  You don't want to go to the movies or eat Chinese food.  You should be at home in front of the fire, roasting chestnuts, making memories, and listening to Nat King Cole.  Leave the movies and Chinese food to us.  I will have a special Christmas eve post at midnight for those still chuggin' the egg nog, which I happen to like with rum and a little cinnamon and ginger.  Tasty!