Sorry dear readers that I allowed this story to slide unreported for so long.
The mystery is solved. The identity of Santa Claus has been reveled. It's West Virginia Senator, and Berserk Oblahma Shill Jay Rockefeller!
In his remarks at the time of his endorsing the Golden god of Change the Senator stated, "I know what's going on in every part of the world all the time."
Obviously Jay is not God, for if he were he would know that Berserk Oblahma is a complete idiot who doesn't know a goddamn thing about foreign policy, despite having lived in Indonesia for four years. I can only conclude that Senator Jay is in fact St. Nicholas himself. I noticed that at his endorsement press conference Senator Rockefeller failed to answer whether Berserk was naughty or nice. I think you know I know you know we all know the answer to that question.
For all you doubters out there answer this. Have you ever seen Jay and Santa together at the same time? HA! In your face!
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2 comments:
but I thought you were Jewish?
Yeah, I'm a Red Sea Pedestrian, but in elementary school (public school mind you) I recieved full Santa indoctrination. We trimmed trees, sang Christmas carols (I didn't figure out what the roundyonvirgin and holy infantso were for years...), and our principal would dress as Santa. Every year he'd have us sit in his lap and tell him what we wanted for Christmas. After 5 years of telling Santa I'm Jewish I finally said, "For Christmas I want my public school principal to stop dressing like Santa." Yeah, I've always been someone's pain in the ass.
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