The Massive Attack of Shabbiness

You may be wondering why I have taken up space on this blog to address the issue of Ellen DeGeneres and Iggy. Firstly, because I am an animal parent. I have 6 animals in my home that are loved, cared for, and respected. It pisses me off when anybody abuses, mistreats, or otherwise disrespects animals, or the people who work with them. This is especially so when the offender is a rich, spoiled, out of touch celebrity who lies and destroys lives without regard or remorse. Secondly I mention her because this incident is yet another skirmish in what I refer to as The Massive Attack of Shabbiness.

Our world is full of crap. It's manufactured in China. It's broadcast on TV, radio, the internet. Our world is run by crap leaders passing crap laws to make our lives filled with more crap, while people around the world are exploited and live in crap. It's a major crap cycle. It's shabby.

Let's look at manufactured goods. The majority of crap you find in stores isn't made in this country. It's made in China, or Bangladesh, or Indonesia, or Mexico, or somewhere and somefuck. Now I don't begrudge the workers in these countries trying to make a living. We all need to eat. Of course in a lot of these places the wages a lot of these people earn doesn't allow them to eat anyway. What bothers me is that, aside from the fact that most of these workers are making shit for wages, the quality of the products is so fucking lame. Let's take China for instance. Shit coming out of China is so shabby that they executed their Head Dude in Charge of the Stuff that We Make (don't quote me on the title, I'm not really good at translating Chinese). Not that anything's changed at all. China still makes the best shabby crap available on the open market today.

But even shit that's not made in China blows ass. How about that amazing LCD television you just bought. Here's two words your sales rep probably didn't utter while he/she sold you on it: pixel burnout. Know what that is? It's when the little dots that help create your picture stop functioning and you have little black dots all over your screen. My sales rep at Big Electronics Store mentioned it to me and blew a sale (not that I could really have afforded the television, but I wasn't going to tell him that). I think they sent him to work their Easter Island branch after that.

So much of our world is shabby that you may as well say that it's all shabby. That way, when you find something that's not shabby you'll feel like you just won the lottery.

So when Hollywood stars who tout themselves as animal lovers turn out to be discarding animals because the little beasties don't cut the mustard, and then destroy the lives of the people who saved the animal's life in the first place because said stars have turned into spoiled little babies who are completely walled off from the real world by their entourage, or an organization like PETA euthanizes dogs and cats because they think they're better off dead than living in a loving home with people, am I surprised? Am I shocked and stunned? No. Why? Because this is just another wave in the Massive Attack of Shabbiness.

So now you must decide on whose side will you fight. It's easy to be shabby. But how do you fight The Massive Attack of Shabbiness, if this is the side you choose? It's easy. Be Unshabby. Don't compromise your morals. Be fair. Don't rip people off. Don't sell people things they don't need. Tip generously when you can. Help an old lady cross the street, and if you try and she jams an umbrella up your a-hole then just smile though the pain and say, "Thanks crazy old lady." Don't lie to your kids. If you're a teacher don't lie to your students (that's how I ended up needing a fucking blog to vent my negative energy in the first place). And if someone tries to be shabby to you don't take it. Demand unshabbiness. Make the concessionaire at the movie theatre wash their hands before they sneeze on your popcorn. Call people out on their lies and bullshit.  

Only you can prevent forest fires. Only you.

My Dog Has a Lump

Yesterday, while lovin' on my dog, I found a lump on her back. Being a concerned parent I immediately began freaking out. I tried not to jump to the worst conclusions and figured that maybe it was a fatty tumor. After doing some research my next conclusion was that it was a reaction to her rabies shot that she got last week. I brought her to her doctor this morning who confirmed my suspicion. Rabies shots are now done subcutaneously instead of muscularly. About 10% of dogs are developing these lumps, which in most cases go away after a couple of months. I was of course very relieved as my Shellies is my dear dear lump of sweetness and slobber that I want to have around for many years to come.

You see, an animal isn't a pet to me. They are family. I laugh at their joys, comfort them when they are in pain, protect them from harm, and relish every moment I have with them. That is how a human being loves an animal.

A douchebag throws animals away when they don't instantly conform to their needs and desires. A douchebag blames others around them for their own problems and lies. A douchebag destroys reputations because of their own sense of entitlement.

Ellen DeGeneres you aren't worthy to sniff my dogs' shit. Go on vacation and never come back.

The Farmer and Cowman Should be Friends

Well folks that shit has hit the fan in Gaza. Hamas, the darlings of America's extreme left are now in control of the the most densely populated place on earth. Sure, you loved Hamas when they were killing Jews, but how you like these apples? Now watch the violence inherent in the system.

What do you think will happen first? Will it be women being forced to wear burquas, or honor killings? What's that? Hamas doesn't seem so great now that the persecution of women Taliban style is imminent. Fuck you you unthinking liberal douchebags. This is what happens when you take uneducated stands on things which you know nothing about. Your favorite past time.

For those of you who are a little lost at this point I am referring to the liberal douchebags who carried pro Palestinian/Hamas/anti Israel signs in New York in the run up to the 2004 Republican Convention. These lefties who run on platitudes and disinformation are just like guess who...the unthinking right wing douchebags who run on platitudes and disinformation. Guess what assholes? You're all fascists.

But let us leave Hamas to strangle his wife and move on to pastures new...the West Bank.

Fatah is now trying to crack down and eliminate Hamas from the West Bank. Don't kid yourselves people. This is not so that they can clear the way to head down the road of peace with Israel. This is so Mahmoud Abbas doesn't get whacked. This is self preservation people. At any time Fatah could have done this, knowing full well that Israel would never allow for the creation of a Palestinian state with Hamas elements in the government. But since Fatah's (read the PLO) agenda has always been the destruction of Israel, it had no reason to curb Hamas, who was so willing to do the dirty work of suicide bombings in Israel while Fatah attempted to don the sheep's clothing of political moderism. Fatah has never recognized Israel's right to exist. Only the truly stupid (that being virtually the entire planet) think that Fatah wants to coexist side by side with Israel.

But do you know who does want that? The Palestinian people who have been living in abject poverty at the hands of their so called leaders for the past 40 years. They know full well that neither Fatah or Hamas will deliver peace. They also know that Israel will continue restricting their movement, etc as long as the gun toting thugs of Fatah and Hamas are running things.

Perhaps Mahmoud Abbas is finally going to see the truth, as King Hussein of Jordan did before: Abbas will be dead if his party does not kiss Israel's ass. That means getting rid of Hamas. That means disbanding the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade. That means outlawing terrorism. That means formally, and unequivocally recognizing Israel. If those things happen it might snow Los Angeles.

As far as Gaza goes Israel should do the following: Let it rot. Guess what people? There's a price to be paid for allowing your body politic to be based on the destruction of Israel. You elected these idiots. You knew what they represented. You made this bed. Now you get to lie in it. Sucks doesn't it? The Israel Defense Forces look pretty fucking good now don't they. Bet you wish they were still there. I am sorry that you have been eternally fucked by your leaders all these years. But again, you made that bed. You thought Israel would never survive. You thought wrong. You bet on the wrong side and you lost. For your sake I pray Hamas doesn't launch an offensive against Israel. If it does well, you better kiss your ass goodbye. Without anything resembling a reasonable political entity in Gaza, and with no Jews there, Israel has no incentive to not turn Gaza into a parking lot. Gather yourselves together and beg the international community to intervene on your behalf to remove Hamas from Gaza before something really bad happens.

This is not what I wanted for you. Arabs living in peace side by side with Jews...that is the vision of peace that lived in the hearts of Jews for decades. But this is out of our hands now. You are in the hands of brutal, uncaring thugs who will use you as leverage and human shields until you are all dead. Now is the time to rise up and tell the world this is not what you want. Tell the world you want peace with Israel. Tell them you want Hamas out of Gaza. At this point it may be your only way out of this. Yes, many of you will die at the hands of Hamas, but many of you have died already, and many more will die. At least die for something that might secure the future of your children.

Israel...what the hell are you gonna do? Your government is being run by an inept ninny who has continued to lead you down the road to nowhere. The only thing you have going for you at the moment is Ehud Barak who has hopefully learned the lesson of what happens when you appease those who want you dead. When Hamas attacks you must strike back. Concern for the civilian population of Gaza is no longer your concern. If civilians wish to evacuate to other Arab countries you should help facilitate that in coordination with the international community. Hamas will consolidate its power in Gaza accumulate weapons, declare itself an independent Islamic state, and then attack you. This will happen as sure as I shit unless Ban Kai Moon is able to get a legitimate international force to remove Hamas from power, and I think there's about as good a chance of that happening as there is for George Bush to sprout a brain.

So what we have here is a perfect storm and there is no one, and I mean no one, on the international stage with the knowledge, the strength, and will to navigate the parties out of this situation. I'm afraid there is going to be a bloodbath. I pray that I'm totally wrong.

Oh my Valve!

It's been so long since I've written that there's no possible way I can catch up so I'll just try and shoot my mouth off about whatever I can remember.

Let's start with Paris Hilton. Now normally I wouldn't devote two seconds to this brainless whore but I have to say that nothing was more priceless than sitting in a bagel shop in Chappaqua this past weekend (no sign of the HillBill Show) to see the Daily News headline: "I WANT MY MOMMY!" with Paris blubbering on the cover. Classic DN. Why is America so outraged that this privileged waste of my air and natural resources got coddled by the legal system? Is it some new phenomenon that the rich get legal breaks and the poor get screwed, or was I high on acid the day OJ was found not guilty? Though to be honest I would have voted not guilty had I been on that jury. I personally feel that you can't convict a man based on tainted crime scenes and evidence. Good police work there Mark Furman.

I guess the world can only hope that Paris is gang raped on a webcam for us all to download. Which might actually bring about Howard Stern's suicide. What would he and bababooey have to live for after that?

But I have to admit that I'm glad the crackwhore is back in the slammer. Now if we can just find a way to keep her there.

Moving on...

Let's talk Gaza. I just read today that there is a new hobby among the terrorists: throwing each other off tall buildings. Apparently Hamas grabbed a Fatah guy and threw him off a building. Then Fatah went to a Hamas preacher's house, blasted it with rocket propelled grenades, burst into the building...the body turned up later at a hospital. Whether it walked or was flung I don't know. I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the Palestinians for bringing out the more bloody side of democracy. Nothing screams franchise more than tossing the opposition off a building. I wonder if democrats and republicans will start doing that.

It's really a sad state of affairs in Gaza. Used to be that all the factions could always get together to kill Jews and try and wipe Israel off the map. I guess that this has become such a lucrative business, what with the world bank pumping money in there like butt cream on a baby, that now these idiots figure they oughta kill each other to see who gets to make the money off killing Jews and trying to wipe Israel off the map. Hey guys, do yourselves a favor. Just kick back and relax. The Olmert, Peretz, Livni Show will do it for you.

Oh and there was the foiled kidnapping attempt this past week. Arabs crossed the Israeli border (hey Zahal what the hell is going on with you DIBs anyway?) but were thwarted. I think one of the shlubs was quoted as saying, "It would have worked too if it hadn't been for those meddling helicopter gunships."

Let's see...what else? Oh yeah, the Shrub embarrassed us once again by going to the G8 summit. Why can't that asshole just stay in Crawford? I can't talk about how stupid he is anymore. It hurts too much. But I have to say that it's priceless when he says that the Democrats are just "playing politics" by bringing a vote of no confidence against Speedy Gonzales. He actually thinks that no one has actually come out and said that he's done something wrong (of course you would think that Shrub...hey why does your head smell like your ass?), so this whole no confidence thing is just a stunt. Oh and we're staying the course in Iraq 'cause that's finally starting to pay off. At least for the contractors who manufacture caskets for the US military. that wouldn't be Halliburton would it?

Let's see, what else has been pissing me off lately? I guess those are the biggies. Oh wait...the Australians are pissing me off. Why? Because the Prime Minister and other bigwigs are hemming and hawing over whether or not they should meet with the Dalai Lama. Apparently the Chinese gov't gets really pissed at governments that meet him. The Aussies are apparently afraid that China will take it's lopsided trade ball and go home. I've got news for you Australian douches, and the rest of you shithead loser governments out there. If China wants to cut trade with every country that meets the Dalai Lama then maybe they'd end up trading with no one and would actually have an incentive to grant Tibet autonomous status as a part of greater China which is all the Dalai Lama says he wants. Oh, but wait...that would mean the free world would have to stand up to the Chinese against greed in the name of freedom and peace. Shit, even Google won't do that. Sorry Tibet looks like the governments of the world are going to continue to let the Chinese rape you in the butt until your language, culture and history are washed away forever. Politicians suck ass.

That's all for now I guess. i feel much better. How 'bout you?

The Good, The Bad, and The Stupid

Oh my valve. I take a few weeks off and all hell breaks loose. Where to begin? Ah yes...Gaza.

Poor Fatah and Hamas. They just can't decide who is going to be in charge of killing Israelis (and who will have access to all the yummy money, weapons, and other great stuff you get to be in charge of the Middle East's most popular vacation retreat...sorry Kurdistani Iraq aka the other Iraq). So instead of remembering that the glue that held all the disparate Arab factions together was killing Jews and wiping Israel off the map (an increasingly less valid body politic in world opinion...as long as Hamas is in charge...for some reason it's okay for Fatah to want to wipe out Israel...sorry Mr. Haniyeh...maybe it's your lame haircut). But El Greedo strikes again. Looks like Charles Beard was right: economic motivation really is paramount in man.

So while the world watches these opposing/unopposing factions kill each other I wonder where is the voice of reason saying, "I guess these guys are completely unfit to run their own country. Perhaps we need to cultivate a legitimate political entity in Gaza that is dedicated to building for the Arabs instead of killing Jews." Alas, Jimmy Carter is too busy napping, or back peddling on his criticism of The Shrub (in case you forgot Jimmy...spineless indecisiveness is why you lost to Ronald Reagan in 1980).

While we're in the region let's talk Lebanon. What the hell is that all about? My best guess is that this Fatah Islam group is perhaps some Al Qaida supported entity that Hezbollah doesn't want to see sprout up. Hey, this is their turf. If Osama Burt-Laden is going to move in he's gonna do it over Fat Black Turban Guy's dead body. So Fat Black Turban Guy calls his buddies in the Lebanese government and says, "Have the army bomb the crap out of the Palestinian refugee camp. It'll look like you're fighting terror and stuff." And they also get to kill Palestinians, which Arabs really don't mind doing. They only keep them around for political leverage against Israel anyway. If you don't believe me just ask King Abdullah in Jordan. He'd love to take Dick Cheney quail hunting in the streets of Amman. Too bad his Hashemite clan is in the minority. Sorry Abby baby.

Moving on...it's Global Climate Change...not Greenhouse Effect or Global Warming...Global Climate Change. It does sound sexier doesn't it? Hopefully it's sexy enough for Hollywood to pin a ribbon on their clothes today, and forget about it tomorrow. I think Liz Taylor may be the only star left in Hollywood who still wears a red ribbon, but she has been out of the public eye so long who knows? This is the issue of our times. Let's face it folks; unless we do something to change the direction we're going we're all dead anyway...except for Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitless (can you believe he had to leave his post at the World Bank? Who would have seen that coming), Donald Dumsfeld, and Paris Hilton as they will all be living it up on the moon. Most of you probably don't remember Rummy waxing philosophic over invading the moon during the propaganda spree that preceded the invasion of Iraq.

So the musicians are all going to get together to change the world's climate back to normal just like they ended famine in Africa. Thank god. It would be a shame for people to still be starving in Africa. Instead why don't all these obscenely wealthy idiots buy us all hybrid cars? And stop riding in limos, and producing giant electricity burning rock shows? Remember when loud was enough? Break a leg guys. Let's face it, I'm in it to see the Police and Spinal Tap.

When the hell did I become the voice of reason?

Ugh! Scrapple!!!

I haven't written lately as I have been preoccupied with falling in love with the most amazing girl. I'm not going to delve any further into my personal life other than to say that she is the butter on my biscuit, the cream in my coffee, the road map in my car, the fire in my cracker, the tube in my tuba...you get the idea. Sometimes the universe lines up and things that are supposed to happen just happen. So Big Cosmic Thing, we owe you an eternal debt of gratitude which we will do our best to pay back with good deeds, peace, and gardening.

And now for something completely different: Pet food. Yes the douches in China have been poisoning pets, and now apparently, humans as well, by adding melamine to wheat gluten, rice protein, chicken feed, and probably a host of other things that we don't even know about yet. Why? Because like anyone trying to make a buck (remember when the commies were all about forsaking capitalism? Oh wait...that only worked in Israel) they are willing to do just about anything to boost sales.

This is actually a subject near and dear to my heart. I have been an animal lover all my life. I currently live with two cats and two dogs. They are my children (let's face it...a dog is like a 5 year old that never grows up), and I refuse to feed them shit in a bag. I admit that I used to though.

I used to feed them Iams. I, like many others, fell for their wholesome image, only to find that Iams is basically shit in a bag. I should have known something was up when my oldest dog refused to eat it after a while. My younger dog will eat anything she can keep down so she's a poor canary in the coalmine. Everything was fine until I found out that Iams was performing all kinds of horrible experiments on animals in their contract labs. But they were busted by PETA (an organization that I wholeheartedly stand against as they advocate the wholesale euthanasia of domestic animals, i.e. dogs and cats, because they feel these animals are better off dead than living with humans...if you don't believe me go to YouTube and watch Penn & Teller's episode of Bullshit on PETA). But Iams was actually one case where PETA got it right, at least in the beginning.

Aside from the moral implications (Iams now uses their own facility to do food testing which the ASPCA claims is non invasive (keep in mind that Iams is a major corporate sponsor of the ASPCA, and as you hopefully know money talks and bullshit walks, so you use your own judgement). But the fact remains that, as far as I'm concerned, Iams is still shit in a bag.

So I did lots of research, and consulted with a friend, who is a self studied expert on dog food and nutrition, and have found a food that the dogs love, and is not made with any of the shit that is causing the recalls. The dogs get Timberwolf Organics, and the cats get Innova. Both are made by independent companies that have reliable sources for all their ingredients.

If you own an animal you should know that there is NO regulation of the pet food industry in the United States. None. Zero. Zilch. The big goose egg. Yes there is AAFCO. But they only set a standard of nutritional requirements. They are not a regulatory body. This is why some pet foods end up with the same chemicals that are used to euthanize horses, dogs and cats. How? Because the shameless profiteers who make the crap that Wal Mart, and others, sell put euthanized animals in their food. I'm not kidding. Do a web search and find out for yourself.

My feeling is that my animals are going to eat the best I can get. If that means I eat Ramen noodles then so be it. But that's just me.

Click on the title of this entry or go to http://www.dogfoodproject.com/ to get the latest on the recall, and to find out about what foods are healthy, and which are shit in a bag.

Don't Glorify the Psycho

Just when you thought it was safe, another psychopath decides to take out his road rage, and pent up hostility, sexual frustration, etc on a bunch of innocent people. Of course all the warning signs were ignored, as usual. Dummy humans didn't learn anything from Columbine I guess, so all those deaths were in vain. Good job everybody.

There are accounts of heroism and bravery that are emerging. Humans sacrificing themselves to save their friends and colleagues; a testimonial to the true brilliance of the human spirit. On the other side of the coin; when it is found out who amongst the authorities ignored the warnings (in my opinion they are accomplices of this crime), they should be sued by the families for negligence. Maybe then, when someone like this comes along again (and they will if history has proven anything), it will be less likely to be dismissed.

I also think the news agencies need to stop publishing the pictures of this guy (I won't mention his name as fame was part of his goal. I won't be complicit to another man's psychosis). But of course this is the crap that sells. So go ahead NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, FAUX News, et al. Cash in on the death and misery. It's what you do best after all.

My deepest and sincerest condolences to the families, and friends of the slain, as well as the entire Virgina Tech community. Words will not heal you, or bring back your loved ones. But the nation grieves with you, honors your heroism, and prays this never comes to pass again.

That's my theory. We are not fighting a "war on terror." You can't fight a means, a concept, an abstract. But we are at war, or I should say we have been invaded by the Massive Attack of Shabbiness. Just about everything is made in China, and is a piece of crap. The admissions standards at private universities are lower than ever (just ask former Duke President Nan Kohane, who confided in one of her deans, that the freshman class gets dumber and dumber every year). Look around you, stuff is crap. Even things that are supposed to be top of the line are made to be broken (not that this is a new concept; just ask anybody who bought a Colicovision back in the '80s).

And of course our presidential candidates are shabby. Let's look at Barack Obama, the liberal democratic poster boy. Everyone is giving him money and looking to him to save the country. Wake up idiots. The guy gave an impassioned speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. And? Tell me one thing Obama stands for, tell me one plank in his platform that is not a platitude. You can't. I went to his website and looked at his issue position statements. There is not one, not one idea, not one answer, not one plan. Platitudes only. He's the little wooden boy who wanted to be real. He's vapor. He's wasting everyone's time.

The Man

This weekend marks the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson's history making entry into Major League baseball. Having grown up facing prejudice and racism in his hometown, and in the United States military during World War II, Jackie knew full well the importance of what he represented to Black America the day he first played for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Named Rookie of the Year that season, Jackie demonstrated, as Jim Thorpe and Jesse Owens did before him, that talent, class, and integrity know no color, or race. In an age where athletes seem to be more known for their fighting, raping, drug use, and cheating at their respective sports by using performance enhancing drugs, Jackie stands as an example of what is the best not only in sport, but humanity as well.

I should also take a moment to mention Branch Rickie, then owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, who made the historic decision to hire Jackie, and break baseball's color barrier.

So as long as we're on the subject of integrity in sports, let me not fail to mention the anti-Jackie; Barry Bonds. Barry you're an egomaniac and a cheat. Your career is a fraud, and no one but you is going to recognize you surpassing Hank Aaron's career homerun record (hey Mark Mcguire, guess what? You didn't break Roger Maris' single season homerun record you douche). If there is any integrity left in Major League baseball (a highly debatable notion) then you will never be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Never. Not ever. You suck. Hank Aaron has more talent and integrity then you could ever hope to even pray to possess. The only sentences in which your name and Hank Aaron's should appear together are these: "Barry Bonds will never break Hank Aaron's record because Bonds is a cheat," and "Hank Aaron is one of baseball's greatest players, but Barry Bonds is a colossal fraud."

Bud Selig (another worm at baseball's rotten core), has said that any player who desires to wear Jackie's number 42 this weekend may do so to remember the greatness of the man. Barry, if I hear you wore his number I just may vomit.

Here's to you Jackie, a real hero, not only to sport, but to the human spirit.

And so long Don, don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out

So Don Imus got fired. Good. He's a waste of the airwaves anyway. If I want to hear someone bitch I'll read this blog. Now here's the $64,000 question: Are we going to start hearing about radio hosts of color, who malign Jews and white people getting fired? Anyone? Bueller...Bueller...

Don't get me wrong...in a civil society people should not be getting paid millions of dollars to spew racist invective over the airwaves. But if it's good for the goose it's good for the gander. There are all kinds of so-called "Urban Radio" shows that, according to reliable sources, spew the same crap about whitey, Jew boy, spic, chinks, you get the idea. Guess what? They need to go too.

But Shtuey...what about our Constitutionally guaranteed freedom of speech?

I admit that it's a fine line protecting rights of expression. But when a broadcaster's racist invective poisons the minds of people who then decide, based on these rantings, to violate me because of my race, guess what? You've just fucked up so big time that I can't begin to discuss the kegger of wup ass you'd be dealing with. Speech that encourages hate, bigotry, violence against anyone else...that's not protected by the Constitution. Don't believe me? Go ahead and test that. If your speech results in the violation of my Constitutional rights of life, liberty, etc., your ass is mine.

But Shtuey, Don Imus referring to a women's basketball team as a bunch of nappy headed ho's doesn't incite violence against black people. He's being censored for doing his job.

You show me in Don Imus' employment contract where it says that's his job. And you have no idea where that kind of statement would lead. The human mind can be a sick and disgusting place, just ask Mark David Chapman (for those of you who weren't born, that's the sonuvabitch who shot and killed John Lennon...John was one of the Beatles...a band from Liverpool England that...oh forget it, if you don't know who the Beatles are I can't help you).

This is why I will never encourage or endorse violence to be perpetrated against anyone, aside from the fact that I firmly believe that Gandhi was right about nonviolence being the greatest weapon against human oppression. You just never know what sicko is gonna take what you say and twist it. Of course, this is a country that produced a man whose dog told him to kill people, so anything is possible.

Now let's move on to the Duke Lacrosse affair. This thing ended up exactly the way I predicted it would last year. The charges were dropped due to the lack of credibility of the witness, as well as an overwhelming lack of evidence. This does not mean that the Duke Men's Lacrosse team is made up of a bunch of saints. It's probable that members of the team over the years have been guilty of date rape, along with plenty of fraternity brothers, and members of college sports teams, and for that matter, college men in general. But in this case there is no forensic evidence to indicate that this happened.

As I predicted, Mike Nifong is in big big trouble. Quite frankly he should be disbarred, and probably will be. But he is not simply guilty of pushing this nowhere case, running roughshod over legal procedure, etc. He is also guilty of pandering to the black community of Durham that didn't want to see these privileged white boys get away with a crime that, in the end, they did not commit, so that he could better his chances of being elected District Attorney. Now I've lived in Durham for quite a while and I know that a white man does not get the support of the black community in Durham without the endorsement of the Committee for the Affairs of Black people. I wonder if there was a meeting between Mr. Nifong and Committee members. I couldn't say, but I would imagine that an intrepid journalist could find out. Any takers? Oh, and where are Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton now? I do believe they were shooting their mouths off about this case last year. Wonder what they have to say now...I don't suspect we'll be seeing any press conferences from either of them on the subject any time soon.

Gosh Shtuey...are you a closet bigot?

No, I'm not in the closet. I'm bigoted against racists, people who use race to advance their agendas even when contrary to the facts, liars, cheats, scumbags, slave owners, greedy bastards who break the human will so they can buy another house...and guess what? I don't care what color, religion, race, creed, or species they are. "Ain't no time to hate."

The moral of the story is...don't compromise your ethics (if you have any) simply to get elected. Unless you're George Bush, Ronald Reagan, Dick Cheney (if you have the money to buy the protection), you'll never get away with it. And don't pander. You'll gain more respect standing up for what's right than what a potential constituency wants. Just ask John McCain. He spent so much time kissing W's ass that whenever he opens his mouth the only thing people hear is the sound of farting. Maverick my ass. Those days are long gone. It's gotten so bad that he's had to fire campaign staffers. Not good John, not good.

In our next episode: Barack Obama, the wooden boy who wanted to be real, and Hillary Clinton, the power hungry automaton who will say anything and do anything to be President, and my pick for President of the United States in January 2009.

So Long and Fare Thee Well

Sad to hear that Kurt Vonnegut has moved on to the other side. Once, maybe twice in a generation, a voice comes along that demands nothing less than the total freedom of the human mind. Sure, there are other voices saying the same thing, but you can ignore them, pretend they're not there, but not Vonnegut. You've at least heard of Slaughterhouse 5, and if you haven't read it go buy it, or get yourself to that thing called the library and check it out.

I had the honor of attending a lecture of his at the University of Massachusetts back in the early '90s. Unlike unthinking "liberal" douches like Noam Chomsky, who demands that you accept everything he says at face value because he's Noam Chomsky, (who if you listen to carefully you'll find he's really a great big fascist asshole), Kurt demanded that we challenge and question everything, take nothing for granted, and never back down from what we know to be morally wrong.

In my mind the man was nothing less than a champion of the human spirit, who's voice will continue to call on us to stand up for what we believe in, to never accept the folly of human stupidity. Like Ken Kesey, and Mark Twain, Vonnegut saw America for what it was, made us look at it, made us smell and taste it, laugh at it, cry with it, and instill us with the notion that we have a say in making it what we all know it could be if we just got it out of the hands of the pinheads, and greedy douches.

Thanks for all you did Kurt to push us forward and wake us up.

Thank Goodness!

At last we know the name of Anna Nicole's baby's daddy...the man who undoubtedly will be responsible for her years and years of drug addiction and therapy. I think his name is something Shithead. Now would somebody please tell me why we give a shit? Really, someone please tell me. I mean, I know there isn't anything pressing going on in the world so we have time to put into this, but really. A drug addict with no acting ability is dead. Drug addicts die every day, many of them in a world of filth and pestulance that most of us cannot relate to at all. No one's covering their deaths. I suppose if they were gold diggers with big tits who couldn't string two sentences together then maybe we'd hear something (some undoubtedly are, but they weren't screwing any producers (well maybe they were, they just weren't the type that get any media exposure). Personally I'd like to thank all the major media outlets for covering this VERY important story because otherwise I'd only have to ignore George Bush's delusional rantings. CNN, I hope you sent Wolf Blitzer to cover this because quite frankly you're wasting his ineptitude getting him to cover world events with his nonsensical rantings. This is more his speed. And call me when Geraldo Rivera takes us in search of Nicole's brain (here's a clue Gerald, it's in Al Capone's vault you miserable waste of air).

Speaking of ranting...is it me, or is it about time that the world finally figured out that Don Imus is a fuck faced douche bag who doesn't know a hawk from a handsaw? This weed has been posing as someone people actually give a shit about for too long. Glad John (the butt kissing rebel without applause) McCain is still planning to do his show...we thought you were losing your cutting edge John--thanks for setting us straight).

So what's the solution Shtuey? You just keep bitching but you don't tell us what the answer is.

Fair's fair. The answer is so utterly simple, you won't believe it. Music. Music is the answer. Music has been at the center of every important cultural revolution of the 20th century. Think about it. The Blues spread throughout America with the Black exodus of the South. Jazz soared into the mainstream during prohibition and the labor movements of the early 20th century. The Beatles coming to America in 1964; the San Francisco sound that fueled the psychedellic revolution (arguably the single greatest socio/cultural revolution of the past 100 years). Music people. Go out and make it, listen to it, go see it live. It doesn't even have to be rock. Go to a performance of your local orchestra, choir, or philharmonic. I guarantee you will walk away feeling better, inspired, less weary. Really, you will. I'm not kidding. That's how we're gonna bring peace to Israel, and get the Palestinians to reject the culture of violence. Stop depending on the crooked politicians and let the musicians sort it out. Arab and Israeli musicians record and perform together all the time, and no one gets blown up. There are even groups made up of Palestinians and Israelis, and guess what? No fatalities. Put the musicians in charge and there will be peace, and rock.

People are Like Cake

There are all kinds. Some are store bought, dry, yellow, disgusting blobs of artificial flavors, colors, preservatives, and just don't taste very good. But some store bought cakes are moist, fresh, and delicious; but still, not necessarily the tastiest. Then there are homemade cakes. Some mean well, but just don't quite have what it takes. Maybe they were left in the oven too long, or weren't baked with enough love, or a rubber bladder fell in the batter and inflated in the oven making that weee waaah sound like in that episode of the Little Rascals. But some cakes...some cakes are a chocolate delight, with real whipped cream icing blended with chocolate chips and nuts, and smeared in between the layers of chocolatey goodness. The kind of cake that stirs up pleasant memories of childhood (the ones in between being accosted with wire hangers and polyester leisure suits, and brussel sprouts). The kind of cake that makes you remember your first French kiss, when you hesitated after and decided that a cootie shot was unecessary.

But even the nasty store bought cake has someone who wants it, who finds it to be the French kissinist cake ever. And there are some who think that the cake that makes me go ga-ga tastes like a dog's butt. My mom always says, "That's why they make chocolate and vanilla."

Dick Cheney likes cake. It's probably made with asbestos, dioxin, crude oil, and $1000 bills, with buckshot mixed in sludge icing. But he likes cake, and that should count for something. You let me know what that is when you find out.

What's that smell on Google's breath?

Is it sourkraut? Is it garlic? Is it pantyhose? No, it's Chinese governmental butt smell! For those of you who haven't heard Google sold the Chinese people up the river to make a buck off the regime by censoring the searches that the people can make. No references to Tibet and Tiennamon Square for the questing populace. Oh, and apparently there are no gays, and no alcohol (along with whatever else Google agrees to censor). Of course the sycophantic money grubbers at Google justify themselves by saying that at least they can get some information, and that's better than none. I'm sure the people of China really appreciate your complicity in the continued stifleing of their desire for transparency and freedom. Go blow you a-holes.

So much for taking a stand for what you believe. You butt licks could have stood up to the Chinese government and told them to go to hell. You could have taken a stand on their policy toward Tibet in the face of the coming Olympic games in Beijing. You could have made some other kind of noise instead of cha-ching! GO TO HELL Google.

So maybe I should destroy this blog seeing how it's now under the uber-google purvue. It's not like I'm paying for it. And besides, I like being right here stickin' it in Google's eye.

So no folks, Google's no better than Rupert Murdock or any of the other thoughtless money grubbing douches that censor what you read, see, and hear. Thanks for being duplicitous scumbags you phonies...we didn't have enough of that already. Click on this entry's title to read CNet's article on how the butt farts at Google are screwing the Chinese people. And find out more from Human Rights Watch.

Stop! Humor time. What's brown and sounds like a bell? Duuuuuuuuuung.

Who Perpetuates the Lie?

It's all about perception. One douche's truth and is another human's lie. On Halloween night in 1991 Ken Kesey declared, "In any given situation there are always going to be more smart people than dumb people." That's a safe assumption to make. Look around, he's right. Never assume that the people around you, even ones with whom you feel you share the same point of view, are actually informed, thinking people. Most are content to be spoon fed their warm bath of information from the evening news...if they watch the news at all. Who reads between the lines? That's how we end up with conservative jackasses going on NPR in December of 2004 saying things like, "If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have voted for Bush." Hey dumbasses...where were you the previous 4 years?

A two term Bush presidency (my valve just closed) is not as scary to me as living amongst a population of people who decided he was doing such a great job the first time around that they'd give him another shot. Sorry to those of you who voted for him but, you are all a bunch of stupid idiots.

But you can't lay the blame entirely on the masses of dupes. Let's give the White House Press Corps their due. These sanctimonious wind bags let Bush ride four years for free. Most of these butt wipes work for news agencies that are owned by corporate conglomerates, and Arab cartels that have Bush's saliva on their posteriors, and visa versa. These reporters have a vested interest in throwing Bush cream puff pitches. They're too scared of losing their jobs. It's the rest of us who suffer for their lack of journalistic integrity. Even Bob Woodward sold his credibility for access. Hey Bob, is that Kool-aid on your breath you hypocrite? Of course now it's popular to bash Bush, and Bob will be right there with new book in tow. Ass.

If you want a smarter populace you should educate yourself, and share what you've found.

Tonight begins the observance of the Jewish holiday of Passover, marking the liberation of the Israelites from servitude in Egypt. Some might say that they left Egypt only to become subservient to the cult of priests. I'd have to agree. I don't let intermediaries get in my way of communing with the universe. For me, this is a time to celebrate the time when we'll all be free. Really free, not living the illusion of freedom. It starts with the human mind, and the next step is freedom of expression.

Next time...is the internet really letting the world speak its mind? Guess what my answer will be?

What Are Ya Gonna Do?

So let's get down to brass tacks shall we? Issue one: Who are you going to trust?

Let's face it folks, in today's world you can't even trust what you see on TV. Thanks to computer technology photos, and video can be doctored to convey to you whatever bias a journalist wishes to convey. Spin however they want to spin (if you'd like to see how it's done check out Honest Reporting).
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I don't think I need to spend one minute discussing that you can't EVER trust a politician--not until you see the proof in the pudding. For those of you dyed in the wool party believers--pull your heads out of your asses. Your party doesn't give a crap whether you live or die; except that if you die you can't vote...but they won't send flowers either).

Can I trust my teachers/professors?

That's the subject of another entry. Stay tuned.

But Shtuey, if I can't trust my leaders, or journalists, who can I trust?

Excellent question.

Watch the Watchers. On the right are links to various human rights organizations (and some to make you laugh and smile...if freedom isn't fun then what's the frickin' point?) These groups are non-political. Their power is vested in your action, not the buckages of corporations for whom they do their bidding (like every douche you elect to office).

What's the good news?

The good news is that you're not alone. There are literally millions of people all over the world who think the way you do, who think that, despite all the beauty here, the world is a miserable fucked up place for millions upon millions of people. And even the most simple of efforts can make a difference.

Go to Save Darfur and learn how to nudge the President. Call the White House every day and tell that s.o.b. in the Oval Office to get off his spotty behind and do something.

Go to WITNESS and view videos, learn what's going on in the world, and tell the stories to your friends. Suffering is allowed to happen when no one is watching. Freedom happens when the eyes of the world can see.

Go to Amnesty International and enlist in a campaign. Sign petitions, write letters, find out how you can get involved.

Learn how you can help raise awareness regarding the crisis in Tibet. The Chinese government has illegally occupied Tibet since 1949. As the Beijing Olympics in 2008 draw near, pressure must be applied to the Chinese government who will undoubtedly whitewash its destructive Tibetan policies. You want change, do what you can to restore Tibet, to help his Holiness, the Dalai Lama return home.

But what is the real key? You must learn to train yourself to drop your politics. There are no sides when it comes to abuses of human rights. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it's a frickin' duck. So Guantanamo is bullshit, Abu Graib is bullshit, Hamas is bullshit, the Palestinian Authority is bullshit, the Israeli government is bullshit...do I need to go on? Whatever your political or ethnic bias is you better learn to let it go. If you don't guess what? You're a hypocrite.

Well, How Did We Get Here?

Ultimately, that is the question....

not to be or not to be. Of course you have to be. Despite your best efforts, you are not going resolve yourself into a dew. SNAP OUT OF IT!

David Byrne asked the question in the dawn of my reckless youth. It's about time I answered it. Remember when sociologists were in love with my generation? Generation X they called us because they didn't know what the hell we were; must have been all the acid. There is no answer. The Acid Tests smashed the mirror and a few million sparks of shattered crystal glass went spewing into the future where there were no more illusions about life, politics, the nobility of war, or the sacred rights of conformity. The sociologists couldn't figure us out because there are no more molds to cast us in. Thank you Kesey, Owsley, MG, and the rest of you brilliant warriors for that public service.

I can't speak for any other soul of my generation. Who the hell would be so presumptuous as to do that? All I know is what happened to me.

So let me set the stage. It's 1969. Kennedys? Dead. Martin? Dead. Vietnam War? Alive and kickin'. I'm a suburban Philly Jew boy born into a middle class family and I'm about to be steeped in the fact that politicians are worthless liars that are not to be trusted. What chance did I have to be a flag waving, brainwashed dumbass drifting unthinkingly through life in a fucking coma? None. By the time I finshed 5th grade I had nothing to believe in except the things I saw with my own eyes. That's what it means to me to be a "Gen Xer."

It means that the ultimate goal has to be freedom for everyone from everything. Whoever said, "Freedom isn't free" had their head shoved so far up their arse that they could probably stick their tongue through their foramen magnum. The fact that people believe that freedom is a commodity that can be bought, sold, or traded in an open market illustrates how much further we have to go. There shouldn't be a cost of freedom. If armies are defending freedom, then who is really free? I'm going to give you a frickin' headache people so go get your aspirin, ibuprofen, valium, nyquil, nitrous, or whatever it is you ingest because if you're here you're gonna need it.

Those of you who were supposed to be making the world better for us ended up being a bunch of swindling, dream killing pig heads who only wanted to screw us seven ways to Sunday. What made y'all think I wouldn't figure that out?

So what did I do? I found my own way.