According to AmmoLand.com enough guns have been purchased by law abiding Americans in the past 4 months to arm the Chinese and Indian armies. That is a lot of fucking guns. So you know exactly what we're talking about here, the People's Army in China has around 3 million people. India has a standing army of 1,130,000. More than 4 million guns have been lawfully purchased in the United States in three months.
Holy Crap!
In March alone 1,529,635 background checks were run for gun purchases, a one month record.
Holy crap!
With an army that large well, let's put it this way...we would never have to worry about a Tickle Me Elmo shortage ever again. Now obviously not all these people would qualify to serve. Folks who get drunk and shoot people in the face are obviously disqualified. Sorry Dick.
So what should we do with this national civilian security force? Here are some suggestions.
- Shoot fruit, particularly melons.
- Conquer Greenland. Let's face it, we need more permafrost and ought to get in on that action before global warming makes it history.
- Demand the canceling of Barney and Friends.
- Get McDonald's to bring back the Shamrock Shake.
If "The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!" has proven anything, an armed populace will always come to the defense of the country against wooly Soviet aggression, poorly maintained bell tower railings, and Eva Marie Saint.
In my conversations with licensed firearms dealers, gun owners, and law enforcement officials, there is one constant; gun and ammo sales have been through the roof since November 4th, 2008.
Personally I think it's great that so many people are exercising their unalienable right to keep and bear a firearm. Take care of it. Learn how to use it responsibly (speaking of which, I find i reassuring that there has also been an increased number of people participating in firearm safety education programs). And don't do anything stupid like carry a loaded pistol in your sweat pants because if you shoot your hoo hoo off you are never going to live that down.
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7 comments:
I knew this was going to be good,
"And don't do anything stupid like carry a loaded pistol in your sweat pants because if you shoot your hoo hoo off you are never going to live that down."
I can't stop laughing!!!
Let me add for all those government types out there, "Come get me. Texas lives here!"
Let's face it DT, shooting your hoo hoo off would suck.
There was a gun show in town today. There were a lot of classic firearms. Hand tooled Winchesters and Remingtons, a lot of collectable items. There were also a lot of bullshit weapons with lots of doodads that look badass but don't really add up to shit I would imagine.
I was very interested in hearing what people had to say about the current political climate. As I expected, there are some concerns about gun bans, the tagging of ammo, and some trepidation about confiscations. But every dealer couldn't have been more pleased with the flow of business since the election. I overheard one dealer say, "Obama is the best salesman I've got."
What people seem to be concerned with the most is that they don't want anyone interfering with their favorite pastime. They like to hunt. They like to shoot. They want to be able to defend their homes and protect their families if need be. Every single person I talked to is nuts about gun safety. Parents were showing their kids how to handle guns safely. Some were getting their first junior rifles. These are not gun nuts preparing to shoot up schools. These are some of the most law abiding people I have ever met and frankly, I'm glad they're armed.
Hi, shtuey, this is a hilarious post! For a while there, when my son would visit on the weekend, one of our favorite pastimes was hanging out at the ammo section of walmart, eyeing the slim pickin's for possible matches, then I was told if you show up on a Friday afternoon at the Big 5 Sporting Goods, you can pick and choose with abandon, as the new shipments would come in. Of course, my dear late husband left me an obscure old revolver and it took me a few tries to find the right caliber ammo. I'm stocked now, so watch out!
btw- I plan to take a course or be trained by a friend. I keep the ammo separate from the gun. When we were dating, my husband showed me how to shoot and load all of the firearms and I was a dead on shot. He thereupon hid them all. I wonder why!
lililam, you better be careful or Pampers will start calling you Annie Oakley.
Well... hoo hoos now is it?
That's some of the cleanest language I've seen you use ! LOL
I find all of this very interesting. So Obama is the best gun salesman the dealers have ever had huh? At least some businesses have benefitted.
Was sorry to see our GI Joes sporting goods is going out of business. I am glad many are taking gun safety classes. I could use one myself. My mom and dad in their younger years used to hunt jackrabbits. Dad would drive the model A Ford and mom would sit on the bumper and shoot.
I inherited her shotgun. Have never used it. I think I'll learn how. Never know when you might need to aim at some hoo hoos.
Hold on now...are we saying it's legal as long as we are aiming at hoo hoos? This changes everything. I can think of a couple that have had it comin'.
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