Coward Dean in Cackalacky

St. Screamer and aspiring leader of Stalinists for America, Coward Dean, came to North Carolina yesterday to spread the good news about his messiah, the Great Pampers.  His first stop was Raleigh.  He was greeted by a contingent of PUMAs from Fayetteville (pictured above) whose signs were the first thing he saw when he stepped off Pampers' Register for Shame bus.  Y'all are hereby awarded the HRC Spine of Steel Award, as well as honorary balls of brass.

But before his arrival we PUMAs sucked the air right out of the event.  The holy warriors didn't know what to make of us.  Why were we there?  What were we going to do?  The press was very interested and spent the majority of this time talking to us.  Unlike Coward, the press understands that we are not Republicans.  We are Democrats, or former Democrats, who are not going to sit idly by with our thumbs jammed up our asses and watch a bunch of crazed Stalinist a-holes rob us of our franchise, and shove a wholly and totally unqualified, incompetent, and self absorbed fascist loon from Illinois down our throats. That's Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid's job.  We were polite and congenial.  We spoke with any bots who dared to approach us (I will dedicate another entry to them). The Bots, like their savior, were more interested in censoring us by trying to stand in front of the protest signs so the press couldn't take pictures.  Not a very effective strategy since the images got taken anyway, and were broadcast all over the news.  The Bots are so challenged, bless their hearts.

Dr. Dean assured me that there will be an open convention.  I feel sooooo much better now.  Then it was on to Greensboro.

When I and my copilot arrived in our PUMA mobile the throng of sycophants had already gathered around St. Screamer.  Some of them were at the Raleigh event, no doubt drafted to pad the numbers of the faithful for the cameras.  We decided to take a different tack, flyering large numbers of cars with the truth about the presumptuous nominee, and the undemocratic process that put him in this position.

We ran long on that mission.  Coward had already headed to Charlotte when we drove past the scene of the crime.  We had planned to go down there, but would have arrived late.  We left that last leg of the journey to Charlotte Front and Center and the Asheville Hillary Meet-up.  They gave Dean an earful.  He was as patronizing and as dismissive as ever.

Sorry Coward.  As much as you'd like us to go away we're just not going to do that.  Go ahead and tell the press that we're Republicans.  We know you know the truth because we've been mailing you our change of registration forms, and you've been sending us letters soliciting for bucks.  You're an ass.  Thank you for giving us so many opportunities to prove it.