It's the same in any lingo

בַּת-בָּבֶל, הַשְּׁדוּדָה: אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיְשַׁלֶּם-לָךְ-- אֶת-גְּמוּלֵךְ, שֶׁגָּמַלְתּ לָנוּ
אַשְׁרֵי שֶׁיֹּאחֵז וְנִפֵּץ אֶת-עֹלָלַיִךְ-- אֶל-הַסָּלַע

How can one be compelled to accept slavery? I simply refuse to do the master's bidding. He may torture me, break my bones to atoms and even kill me. He will then have my dead body, not my obedience. Ultimately, therefore, it is I who am the victor and not he, for he has failed in getting me to do what he wanted done. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? If not now, when? ~ Rav Hillel, Pirke Avot

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes

This Red Sea Pedestrian Stands against Judeophobes
Wear It With Pride

08 July 2008

Like Brownshirts Do

As any HRC or PUMA blogger knows, the Pampers Brownshirts light their hair on fire everytime we stand up and tell the truth.  They even go so far as to pretend they are us.

Case in point.  Here I am apparently spewing some pretty racist stuff.  Now anyone who knows me at all knows that I'm not racist.  It's kinda hard to be when you're a Jew and you spent your childhood fist fighting with Catholic School kids who tried to beat you up because you killed Jesus.  I never even met the guy.  As a result, tolerance is something I learned at a pretty early age, as is self-defense. 

But here are the two most glaring giveaways from that Botsmear that this Shtuey is not me.
  1. I would never mail my own poo to the Obama campaign for fear they would take my DNA, clone me, register my clone to vote, and have him vote for Hindenburg.
  2. If I'm going to impersonate a black man I'm not going to rub poo on my face.  What's the thrust here instaputz, you think that black people smell like shit?  Just who is the racist?  No, if I'm going to try and pass as a man of color I'll do it with tanning oil and a sun lamp a la Black Like Me.

I also got a comment from someone calling themselves Zeno.  I don't know if this is a reference to the insignificant Greek philosopher, Roman emperor, or acne treatment device, but apparently Zeno thinks that I am preoccupied with poo poos, asses, Pampers, and related subjects.  He thinks I'm obsessed and should seek therapy.  Zeno, let me say how much I appreciate your concern, but I'm just fine.  Can I help it if Pampers is an ass?  No I can't.  And neither can Pampers evidently.  

As for my preoccupation with poo poos, farts, and asses I have this to say:  Everybody poops sometimes.  I like to poop at least once a day.  You see Zeno, when people eat their food it is broken down in the stomach.  It then moves into the intestinal tract where nutrients are absorbed by digestive enzymes that help distribute said nutrients to the body.  What the body can't use or absorb accumulates in the colon until it reaches critical mass.  Then it passes,via the anus, into the toilet as poopy, shit, feces, ka ka, turd, etc.  It's a bodily function we all perform.  If you think my discussing this demonstrates to you that I need therapy then I would suggest that perhaps it's you who needs therapy.  You shouldn't be afraid to talk about poopy.  And you shouldn't be afraid to acknowledge that Pampers is an ass.  Everyone else in America who hasn't figured it out yet is sure having less and less of reason not to do so.

And let's face it, poo poos and farts are just plain funny.  Just ask Mel Brooks.  Here's one for our pal Zeno:

So Zeno, does Mel need therapy too?


salvage said...

You are very smart.

CognitiveDissonance said...

Thanks for the laughs, shtuey. That campfire scene is still as hilarious as it was 20+ years ago when I first saw it. Yes, Mel Brooks knew what was funny. Gutter Ball just stinks up the room.

Shtuey said...

Cognitive; so nice to hear from you. I had to bail on TM. I couldn't take her duplicitous stench. Is she still whining that Pampers didn't embrace her?