Merry Birthday, Hypocrites

So, yesterday was Yeshki's birthday. I hope all you non-hypocritical Christians out there had a meaningful day that was largely free of certain fat red elf, who has turned what I would imagine should be a holy day for you, into a pagan festival of materialism.

For the rest of you...I'm talking to you Boycott, Divest, and Sanction Israel Christians...if you're Presbyterian and sitting on your hands, or clapping your hands, while your church's leaders support terrorist homophobic honor killing animals passing themselves off as "Palestinians," then this post is especially for your particular breed of douche.

This just came through my inbox so I just had to share.

As a believing Christian, I made a recent pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I was profoundly disturbed by the Jewish state and its criminal occupation of the West Bank. I know that many good Christians support the Jewish occupation, but I do not! How can you justify usurping land that belongs to others?

Response:

You are entitled to your opinion on the matter. But I hope you are consistent in your beliefs. Being that you oppose a Jewish presence on the West Bank, I assume you will not be participating in any celebrations during the coming days. According to your view, there is no reason to be merry on December 25.

The Christian holidays celebrate an event that you have named a criminal act - the birth of a Jewish baby to a Jewish family living in the West Bank town of Bethlehem. Your views should not allow you to have any part in this cheer, for if you did you would be giving retroactive approval to a Jewish settlement on the West Bank that dates back more than two thousand years.

Perhaps you will be joined by the UN and other humanitarian organizations around the world condemning any celebrations this week that are connected with this controversial birth, as such events would be recognizing the rights of a Jewish family to live on what you see as occupied territory.

However I must warn you, by espousing this view and not celebrating, you will be vastly outnumbered. Not that it's so bad to be in the minority, I personally have been all my life. But keep in mind, while you accuse Israel of occupying land, there will be two billion Christians around the world celebrating the fact that the West Bank has always been the home of the Jewish people.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Aaron Moss (Sydney, Australia)

Kind of makes you feel stupid, doesn't it Joe Presbyterian BSD'er? If not, then perhaps this story will.

The Falacstinians are claiming that Jesus was not a Jew, but a Palestinian. Not only that, he was the first Palestinian martyr. Now, Nazareth Ilit, a community built for Jews along side Nazareth, which is an Arab occupied town, has been overrun by Arabs who are demanding that they be allowed to display Christmas trees in public squares. The AFP picked up the story and are of course branding the Jews as anti-Christmas and blah blah blah.

No surprises there of course. But here's a little factoid for all you Christian Jew haters out there:

Since the Falacstinian Authority, whom the Presbyterian Church seems to love almost as much if not more than Jesus, were given control of Bethlehem the Christian population has plummeted. In 1990 the Christian population was a 60% majority. In 2000 it was down to 40%. In 2008 only 15% of the population is Christian. Is this because of brutal Israeli occupation? No. It's because Israel relinquished control of Bethlehem to the Falacstinians.

Christians in Falacstinian controlled areas are now subjected to dhimmi status. They are restricted religiously, culturally, economically, and politically. International Human Rights lawyer, Justus Reid Weiner, has reported that around 1000 Christians emigrate from Bethlehem annually. Inferior to their Muslim Falacstinian occupiers, Weiner states they are subjected to a number of injustices:

"There are many examples of intimidation, beatings, land theft, firebombing of churches and other Christian institutions, denial of employment, economic boycotts, torture, kidnapping, forced marriage, sexual harassment, and extortion.

"Neither the Palestinian Christian leaders nor the PA want to reveal accurate statistics. That would mean the extent of the emigration would become publicly known. They would then have to face questions about the reasons for this decline."

Did I mention that FA Muslims have murdered Muslims who have converted to Christianity? It's 'cause the Koran says they should. I love the "religion of peace," don't you?

Falacstinian Authority officials are directly responsible for these acts as they are the legal authority in Bethlehem, with many attacks on Christians being sanctioned by FA officials. I wonder if that subject comes up when anti-Jew Christian boycott groups get together for their Israeli bash sessions? I'm guessing no. BTW, in case you think this is only happening in Bethlehem, it is happening in all areas where Israel gave over control to the Arabs. It is also happening all over the Muslim occupied Middle East.

So all you anti-Israel Presbies, Lutherans, Methodists, United Church of Christers, and Episcopalians here's two questions for you:

1) Who was it that guaranteed freedom of religion and access to all holy places by all faiths in what you call the "occupied west bank" which Jesus called Judea and Samaria?

Answer: Israel.

2) What do you think will happen to the remainder of your Christian brethren in those areas if they continue to be controlled under the current Arab occupation, and Juan Hussein Peron Obambi gets his wish and Israel is forced to surrender Judea and Samaria?

Answer: They will be hounded, tortured, and murdered until they are all driven out or dead.

So, how stupid do you feel now?

Merry Fucking Christmas hypocrites.

Fast of Tevet

Today is the Fast of Tevet, marking the date when the armies of Babylon laid siege to Jerusalem. It is a unique date this year as it falls on the eve of Shabbat. So significant is this fast that we do not manipulate the calendar to prevent it from falling on a Friday. Instead, we prepare for Shabbat without tasting the food we are cooking. And rather than break the fast at sundown, we wait until after the kiddush Friday night. But back to the siege.

As we see again and again, when Am Yisrael fails to accomplish its mission, when it fails and strays from serving HaShem, there are dire consequences. In this case, it was the worship of foreign gods that brought about the siege of Jerusalem and the destruction of the Temple of Solomon, where now stands that ugly pimple of al-aqsa and the golden omar pimple. We should only merit to witness the coming of Moshiach and rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash...today.

Alas, we continue to stumble. The government of Israel, largely comprised of men who are only nominally Jews and have no loyalty to the G-d of Israel, continues to speak of freezes or negotiations with Arab animals who spray graffiti on the walls of Joshua's tomb, desecrate a memorial for a rabbi, kindergarten teacher, and father of seven that they murdered, and day in and day out make clear that their dearest wish is to baptize their homicide-belt wearing babies in the blood of Jews. You don't negotiate with this...you do what the Torah demands, what the G-d of Israel demands...that these people be driven out from the land of Israel. They have lands that were given to them. Let them live there and do whatever it is they wish there.

Is the Torah not clear enough? If we love HaShem and keep the mitzvot the rains will fall and the land will give its abundance in its season, which includes driving out those who seek to kill us. If we do not...tzuris, and we are driven out, a process that began on this day some 2500 years ago. And so I will fast, not so much to remember this event, but because we clearly are screwing up again and need help. I need help. It is not easy being a Jew in galut, in exile. I need to keep going, continuing to move forward, doing what I can to stay on the path HaShem has me walk. But it's hard. The great scholars are few and far between. There are fewer and fewer to turn to here, and so we go further and further astray, making checking the lettuce for bugs more important than Ahavat Yisrael.

What is the lesson of Chanukah that we recently finished celebrating? It's not about oil. The lesson lies in the aftermath, when civil war between Jews exacerbated a reliance on foreign power which led directly to the annexing of Judea by the Roman Empire. Today that fat head idiot Bibi and his council of garbage led by the two-headed windbag of Peres and Barak spend their waking hours either plotting how to sacrifice Torah Jews to the god of their political/secular power, or figuring out how to kiss the White House ring without writing their political death sentence. These morons fail to learn the lesson of Chanukah...without unity among Jews we are the prey of foreign influence that will first promise us protection, and then slit our throats.

It is time to stop using Torah as a bludgeon against those who are not observant, and time to start using it to remind them that Torah is who they are, use it as a means to bring them back to where they are supposed to be...something Chabad does so well. The Midrash tells us that at Sinai, everyone heard the Voice of HaShem in accordance to their own capacity to understand. Moshe was the only one of us to grasp all that was conveyed and it was his job to explain to us what it all meant. We have no Moshe now. We are all, all of us, groping around in the dark, until Moshiach comes.

So yeah, I'm fasting in the hopes that the pendulum starts moving in earnest in the direction of redemption and insight, and that my own sight improves right along with everyone else. We can't be a light unto the nations when there are frum couples going on the People's Court attempting to scam goyim out of money over a wig, and when we fail to get our own selves together.

So what's my fast about really? It's for more Torah...and less bullshit.

I'm Not That Pesky Landshark

The dreaded Zionist Entity that most of you know as Israel has been accused of a number of bizarre things over the years...many of these accusations involving animals.

• Releasing wild boars to destroy Arab crops (who would have thought you could train a boar to know the difference between a Jewish and Arab farm? Maybe Arab crops wear kafias?)
• The training of Vicious Attack Snakes
• The marketing and distribution of Sex Gum that made Arab teens horny (forget the raging hormones and sheer boredom) and...my personal favorite...
• THE SUPER RATS OF JERUSALEM...yes the Super Rats of Jerusalem...able to breed and produce rats at four times the normal rate! Unafraid of Arab cats! Able to discern the difference between Arabs and Jews (again...it must be the kafias)! The power of flight! Is there nothing the super rats of Jerusalem cannot do? Well, if they're supposed to be driving the Arabs out of Jerusalem they're not doing such a great job...

But there is one thing that the SUPER RATS OF JERUSALEM can't do...swim and eat Egyptian tourists...which is why an Egyptian official is accusing the Mossad of releasing a shark into the waters near Sharm al-Sheikh.

Yes, you read that correctly. Egypt's governor of Southern Sinai stated:

“We must not discount the possibility that Mossad threw the shark into the sea, in order to attack tourists who are having fun in Sharm al-Sheikh. Mossad is trying to hurt Egyptian tourism in any way possible, and the shark is one way for it to realize its plan.”

Apparently four Russian tourists were attacked by sharks near the resort town. Maybe sharks are attracted to vodka, in addition to blood. Where is Jacques Cousteau when you need him? Heck, I'd take Steve Zissou...



Yes, with all of the intelligence gathering and other cool spy stuff Mossad is involved in, they are apparently making the destroying of Egyptian tourism a priority...makes sense. Once again I find myself wondering how it is that these people have managed to maintain something as intricate as a country as long as they have...oh wait...they are either rolling in oil money or propped up by foreign governments...or both...my bad.

I can honestly say I haven't heard anything this insipidly stupid since the last time Mahmoud Abbas opened his fat stupid mouth...what time is it?

Never mind that sharks inhabit the Red Sea and occasionally, though rarely, attack people...if Egyptian tourists are being mauled in shark attacks it must be the Jews' fault. This is why Israel gave up Sinai?

In response the Egyptians have killed not one, but two sharks. But I thought Mossad only released one shark. What gives? Maybe Egyptians can't count. That would be in line with the whole Egyptian election fraud thing I guess. No one seems to be able to count the ballots properly because I'm pretty sure that I won those elections. Oh well. What's important is that after killing the two sharks the Egyptians have lifted the ban on swimming.

One of the sharks killed by the Egyptian idiots was an endangered white tip shark. Shark advocate Thomas Hopkins gives an alternative explanation to the Mossad Shark Theory:

We have seen in the past few years massive troubles with more sharks coming closer to the shores in Egypt. What is happening is that a lot of the marine life and fish sharks used to eat have migrated away from areas and sharks are resorting to the next best catch around and that is human flesh.

Makes sense to me, which is why no Egyptian officials thought of it.

Hopkins went on to say that killing the sharks would not solve the problem and that Egypt might want to reevaluate its environmental policy regarding the Red Sea. He did not suggest Egypt blame the Mossad. Maybe Hopkins works for Israeli Intelligence.

Northern Israel On Fire

A fire broke out in the Mount Carmel area of northern Israel around 10:00 am on Thursday. There are conflicting reports. Arson is not being ruled out, especially since some are saying that the fire appears to have started around the same time in three separate locations. At least 40 are dead. For a really good timeline I suggest keeping up with things over at the Muqata. Jameel will resume live blogging soon I would imagine. It's almost 7:30 on Friday morning over there.

As we remember the miracle of the flames of Chanukah, let us pray that we see a miracle in these fires being put out quickly. The foreign fire fighting planes should be there and in action now.


Dramatic Video of Worst Fire Disaster in Israel History



Blazing Inferno on Mount Carmel 2010

Chanukah: "Eight Is The Number of Infinity"

Yeah, I copped that from Matisyahu. He makes an excellent point, throwing a little mysticism into the Chanukah atmosphere.

Seven is considered to be the number representing the perfection of things in their natural state. HaShem fashioned the natural order in seven days. There are seven weeks between Pesach and Shavuot. There are seven branches on the menorah that was rekindled by the Maccabees, the menorah that HaShem designed to burn in the Beit Hamikdash, the Temple in Jerusalem.

So why eight nights? There are many explanations beyond the fact that the oil that should have lasted one day burned for another seven. The one I like the best I heard from my rabbi in my last hometown.

If seven represents the perfecting of things in the natural order the miracle of Chanukah must be something beyond this perfection. There was something supernatural that drove the Maccabees to take on the Greeks who far outnumbered them. They were driven by their faith, their desire to maintain our relationship with HaShem, their desire to maintain the perfected natural order that the menorah represents. Because of this, the Hasmonean warriors merited something higher, something beyond the natural state of perfection, which is what the eight flames of Chanukah represent.

Each night of Chanukah the light grows stronger. With each successive night so too do we become stronger as we remember the miracles that were done for us then, and all the way up to today. In spite of the suffering we have endured at the world's hands, when we increase the light each night in our windows for all to see, we reaffirm the same faith that drove the Maccabees, and we let the world know that we are not letting that faith be dimmed or snuffed out. And so every chanukiah that is lit today is itself a miracle. Each is a member of Am Yisrael that has endured, that has not been broken or lost. And that's a very big deal.

May the celebration of the rededication of the Temple be a time to rededicate ourselves to our communities, our people, Torah, and HaShem.

And now a little Matisyahu. This video has been going around the Jewish blogosphere this week. It does the job. Lyrics appear under the video. Enjoy.

Chanukah Sameach!



Lyrics: Matisyahu

Just livin’ in the miracle, candles are my vehicle
Eight nights are gonna shine invincible
No longer be divisible, born through the struggle
Keep on moving through all this hustle
Head up, head down through all of the bustle
New York City wanna flex your muscle
Look so down, look so puzzled
Huddle ‘round your fire through all the rubble

Bound to stumble and fall but my strength comes not from man at all
Bound to stumble and fall but my strength comes not from man at all

Do you believe in miracles
Am I hearing you am I seeing you
Eight nights eight lights and these fights keep me right
Bless me to the highest heights with your miracles

Against all odds drive on till tomorrow
Wipe away your tears and your sorrow
Sunrise in the sky like a an arrow
No need to worry, no need to cry
Light up your mind no longer be blind
He who stretches will find
Leave your problems behind you will shine like a fire in the sky
what's the reason we’re alive – the reason we’re alive…
Bound to stumble and fall but my strength comes not from man at all
Bound to stumble and fall but my strength comes not from man at all

Do you believe in miracles
Am I hearing you am I seeing you
Eight nights eight lights and these fights keep me right
Bless me to the highest heights with your miracles

Eight is the number of infinity one more than what you know how to be
And this is the light of festivity when your broken heart yearns to be free

Do you believe in miracles
Am I hearing you am I seeing you
Eight nights eight lights and these fights keep me right
Bless me to the highest heights with your miracles