Don't Screw Us Iowa

Tomorrow night is the Iowa Caucus.  Most people in America have no idea what a caucus is, or how it works.  Don't worry about it.  I will say that it is perhaps the most democratic mechanism in this country and, though it may seem complicated, should probably be adopted by more states. 

This year's Democratic Caucus is of vital importance.  The people of Iowa must do something courageous.  They must do something daring.  They need to put New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson in the top 3 finishers in the Caucus.  Why?  Because the douchebags in the media will not pay attention to anyone who is not in the top 3, and the current top 3; Clinton, Obama, and Edwards are all douches themselves with none of the experience necessary to run this country, and reestablish good international relations between the United States and everyone we've been fucking in the ass for the past 8 years under King Douchebag Shrub.

Hillary is actually touting her tenure as First Lady as part of her credentials for presidency.  Last time I checked you corrupt ego maniac picking out china patterns, failing to get anywhere on healthcare, and shaking hands with the wives of foreign leaders is not presidential experience.  So she's been in the Senate for a term and got reelected.  Big deal.  Tell me what she's accomplished there.  Let's see...she voted in favor of giving King Douchebag the power to override the Constitution of the United States by supporting his war in an effort to look like a Republican...what else has she done?  Hmm...what were we talking about?  Oh yeah...Clinton hasn't done jack shit about stopping the war, reestablishing the separation of powers which she helped erode, or much of anything else except plan her campaign for President.  And let's not remember that Hillary has never met an opinion she didn't like, except her own.  She'll pander to any crowd on any issue to the point that you will never know where she stands--but she'll always tell you what you want to hear.  God help us!

Barack Osama...this is a boy-man with no plan.  Being a good looking blackish dude with NO EXPERIENCE as an executive, or even as a Senator (he hasn't even served a full term you dumbass Obama supporters).  Can you really see him establishing a settlement to the Iraq debacle?  He has no plan.  His website is nothing but platitudes.  He actually has LESS foreign policy experience than King Douche (KD has more because his daddy was head of the CIA, and was President--scary fucking thought isn't it?).

John Edwards?  Well, he has a nice progressive, populist message.  Too bad he's in bed with the corrupt off shore corporations he claims he will fight.  Yes, he and his wife have quite a bit of money invested in these same companies he tells us are screwing the American people.  John, do me a favor and keep your schlong away from my butt.  Let's face it, he has as little experience as Clinton and Obama.  Any of these 3 will be a disaster in the White House, and on the world stage.

Bill Richardson?  Two term Governor of New Mexico; balanced the budget, raised the minimum wage, has reduced the state's greenhouse emissions, and turned the employment/economic picture of New Mexico around.  Let's see what else?  While King Douche was being a big do nothing baby with North Korea, the country sent a delegation to meet whom; the Secretary of State?  The Vice President?  NO!  They sent a delegation to New Mexico to meet with Bill Richardson.

He was Secretary of Energy, Ambassador to the UN, a seven term Congressman, and a five time Nobel Prize Nominee.  He is the only viable candidate with real world experience.  He is the only Democratic candidate with executive experience.  He is the only candidate pledged to end the war in Iraq.  He is the only candidate that has ever negotiated with foreign leaders.  

Iowa, if you don't put Bill Richardson in the top 3, making him interesting to the media, then you are going to fuck us in the ass and we will be stuck with one of the three stooges I mentioned earlier.  Please don't do that.  I'm begging you!  Really, I'm begging!  Don't fuck us over Iowa.  This is the most important caucus in the history of your state.  Do America proud and turn the country on to Governor Bill Richardson.  I promise you won't regret it.