The Farmer and Cowman Should be Friends

Well folks that shit has hit the fan in Gaza. Hamas, the darlings of America's extreme left are now in control of the the most densely populated place on earth. Sure, you loved Hamas when they were killing Jews, but how you like these apples? Now watch the violence inherent in the system.

What do you think will happen first? Will it be women being forced to wear burquas, or honor killings? What's that? Hamas doesn't seem so great now that the persecution of women Taliban style is imminent. Fuck you you unthinking liberal douchebags. This is what happens when you take uneducated stands on things which you know nothing about. Your favorite past time.

For those of you who are a little lost at this point I am referring to the liberal douchebags who carried pro Palestinian/Hamas/anti Israel signs in New York in the run up to the 2004 Republican Convention. These lefties who run on platitudes and disinformation are just like guess who...the unthinking right wing douchebags who run on platitudes and disinformation. Guess what assholes? You're all fascists.

But let us leave Hamas to strangle his wife and move on to pastures new...the West Bank.

Fatah is now trying to crack down and eliminate Hamas from the West Bank. Don't kid yourselves people. This is not so that they can clear the way to head down the road of peace with Israel. This is so Mahmoud Abbas doesn't get whacked. This is self preservation people. At any time Fatah could have done this, knowing full well that Israel would never allow for the creation of a Palestinian state with Hamas elements in the government. But since Fatah's (read the PLO) agenda has always been the destruction of Israel, it had no reason to curb Hamas, who was so willing to do the dirty work of suicide bombings in Israel while Fatah attempted to don the sheep's clothing of political moderism. Fatah has never recognized Israel's right to exist. Only the truly stupid (that being virtually the entire planet) think that Fatah wants to coexist side by side with Israel.

But do you know who does want that? The Palestinian people who have been living in abject poverty at the hands of their so called leaders for the past 40 years. They know full well that neither Fatah or Hamas will deliver peace. They also know that Israel will continue restricting their movement, etc as long as the gun toting thugs of Fatah and Hamas are running things.

Perhaps Mahmoud Abbas is finally going to see the truth, as King Hussein of Jordan did before: Abbas will be dead if his party does not kiss Israel's ass. That means getting rid of Hamas. That means disbanding the Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade. That means outlawing terrorism. That means formally, and unequivocally recognizing Israel. If those things happen it might snow Los Angeles.

As far as Gaza goes Israel should do the following: Let it rot. Guess what people? There's a price to be paid for allowing your body politic to be based on the destruction of Israel. You elected these idiots. You knew what they represented. You made this bed. Now you get to lie in it. Sucks doesn't it? The Israel Defense Forces look pretty fucking good now don't they. Bet you wish they were still there. I am sorry that you have been eternally fucked by your leaders all these years. But again, you made that bed. You thought Israel would never survive. You thought wrong. You bet on the wrong side and you lost. For your sake I pray Hamas doesn't launch an offensive against Israel. If it does well, you better kiss your ass goodbye. Without anything resembling a reasonable political entity in Gaza, and with no Jews there, Israel has no incentive to not turn Gaza into a parking lot. Gather yourselves together and beg the international community to intervene on your behalf to remove Hamas from Gaza before something really bad happens.

This is not what I wanted for you. Arabs living in peace side by side with Jews...that is the vision of peace that lived in the hearts of Jews for decades. But this is out of our hands now. You are in the hands of brutal, uncaring thugs who will use you as leverage and human shields until you are all dead. Now is the time to rise up and tell the world this is not what you want. Tell the world you want peace with Israel. Tell them you want Hamas out of Gaza. At this point it may be your only way out of this. Yes, many of you will die at the hands of Hamas, but many of you have died already, and many more will die. At least die for something that might secure the future of your children.

Israel...what the hell are you gonna do? Your government is being run by an inept ninny who has continued to lead you down the road to nowhere. The only thing you have going for you at the moment is Ehud Barak who has hopefully learned the lesson of what happens when you appease those who want you dead. When Hamas attacks you must strike back. Concern for the civilian population of Gaza is no longer your concern. If civilians wish to evacuate to other Arab countries you should help facilitate that in coordination with the international community. Hamas will consolidate its power in Gaza accumulate weapons, declare itself an independent Islamic state, and then attack you. This will happen as sure as I shit unless Ban Kai Moon is able to get a legitimate international force to remove Hamas from power, and I think there's about as good a chance of that happening as there is for George Bush to sprout a brain.

So what we have here is a perfect storm and there is no one, and I mean no one, on the international stage with the knowledge, the strength, and will to navigate the parties out of this situation. I'm afraid there is going to be a bloodbath. I pray that I'm totally wrong.

Oh my Valve!

It's been so long since I've written that there's no possible way I can catch up so I'll just try and shoot my mouth off about whatever I can remember.

Let's start with Paris Hilton. Now normally I wouldn't devote two seconds to this brainless whore but I have to say that nothing was more priceless than sitting in a bagel shop in Chappaqua this past weekend (no sign of the HillBill Show) to see the Daily News headline: "I WANT MY MOMMY!" with Paris blubbering on the cover. Classic DN. Why is America so outraged that this privileged waste of my air and natural resources got coddled by the legal system? Is it some new phenomenon that the rich get legal breaks and the poor get screwed, or was I high on acid the day OJ was found not guilty? Though to be honest I would have voted not guilty had I been on that jury. I personally feel that you can't convict a man based on tainted crime scenes and evidence. Good police work there Mark Furman.

I guess the world can only hope that Paris is gang raped on a webcam for us all to download. Which might actually bring about Howard Stern's suicide. What would he and bababooey have to live for after that?

But I have to admit that I'm glad the crackwhore is back in the slammer. Now if we can just find a way to keep her there.

Moving on...

Let's talk Gaza. I just read today that there is a new hobby among the terrorists: throwing each other off tall buildings. Apparently Hamas grabbed a Fatah guy and threw him off a building. Then Fatah went to a Hamas preacher's house, blasted it with rocket propelled grenades, burst into the building...the body turned up later at a hospital. Whether it walked or was flung I don't know. I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the Palestinians for bringing out the more bloody side of democracy. Nothing screams franchise more than tossing the opposition off a building. I wonder if democrats and republicans will start doing that.

It's really a sad state of affairs in Gaza. Used to be that all the factions could always get together to kill Jews and try and wipe Israel off the map. I guess that this has become such a lucrative business, what with the world bank pumping money in there like butt cream on a baby, that now these idiots figure they oughta kill each other to see who gets to make the money off killing Jews and trying to wipe Israel off the map. Hey guys, do yourselves a favor. Just kick back and relax. The Olmert, Peretz, Livni Show will do it for you.

Oh and there was the foiled kidnapping attempt this past week. Arabs crossed the Israeli border (hey Zahal what the hell is going on with you DIBs anyway?) but were thwarted. I think one of the shlubs was quoted as saying, "It would have worked too if it hadn't been for those meddling helicopter gunships."

Let's see...what else? Oh yeah, the Shrub embarrassed us once again by going to the G8 summit. Why can't that asshole just stay in Crawford? I can't talk about how stupid he is anymore. It hurts too much. But I have to say that it's priceless when he says that the Democrats are just "playing politics" by bringing a vote of no confidence against Speedy Gonzales. He actually thinks that no one has actually come out and said that he's done something wrong (of course you would think that Shrub...hey why does your head smell like your ass?), so this whole no confidence thing is just a stunt. Oh and we're staying the course in Iraq 'cause that's finally starting to pay off. At least for the contractors who manufacture caskets for the US military. that wouldn't be Halliburton would it?

Let's see, what else has been pissing me off lately? I guess those are the biggies. Oh wait...the Australians are pissing me off. Why? Because the Prime Minister and other bigwigs are hemming and hawing over whether or not they should meet with the Dalai Lama. Apparently the Chinese gov't gets really pissed at governments that meet him. The Aussies are apparently afraid that China will take it's lopsided trade ball and go home. I've got news for you Australian douches, and the rest of you shithead loser governments out there. If China wants to cut trade with every country that meets the Dalai Lama then maybe they'd end up trading with no one and would actually have an incentive to grant Tibet autonomous status as a part of greater China which is all the Dalai Lama says he wants. Oh, but wait...that would mean the free world would have to stand up to the Chinese against greed in the name of freedom and peace. Shit, even Google won't do that. Sorry Tibet looks like the governments of the world are going to continue to let the Chinese rape you in the butt until your language, culture and history are washed away forever. Politicians suck ass.

That's all for now I guess. i feel much better. How 'bout you?