According to AmmoLand.com enough guns have been purchased by law abiding Americans in the past 4 months to arm the Chinese and Indian armies. That is a lot of fucking guns. So you know exactly what we're talking about here, the People's Army in China has around 3 million people. India has a standing army of 1,130,000. More than 4 million guns have been lawfully purchased in the United States in three months.
In March alone 1,529,635 background checks were run for gun purchases, a one month record.
With an army that large well, let's put it this way...we would never have to worry about a Tickle Me Elmo shortage ever again. Now obviously not all these people would qualify to serve. Folks who get drunk and shoot people in the face are obviously disqualified. Sorry Dick.
So what should we do with this national civilian security force? Here are some suggestions.
- Shoot fruit, particularly melons.
- Conquer Greenland. Let's face it, we need more permafrost and ought to get in on that action before global warming makes it history.
- Demand the canceling of Barney and Friends.
- Get McDonald's to bring back the Shamrock Shake.
If "The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!" has proven anything, an armed populace will always come to the defense of the country against wooly Soviet aggression, poorly maintained bell tower railings, and Eva Marie Saint.
In my conversations with licensed firearms dealers, gun owners, and law enforcement officials, there is one constant; gun and ammo sales have been through the roof since November 4th, 2008.
Personally I think it's great that so many people are exercising their unalienable right to keep and bear a firearm. Take care of it. Learn how to use it responsibly (speaking of which, I find i reassuring that there has also been an increased number of people participating in firearm safety education programs). And don't do anything stupid like carry a loaded pistol in your sweat pants because if you shoot your hoo hoo off you are never going to live that down.