Powerful people on high have taken it upon themselves to anoint me the new DNC Chair. I've always wanted my own chair, and now I've got one.
As the new Chair I want to assure you that the new and improved DNC will be better, stronger, faster, in addition to coup free. Yes, the DNC will be COUP free, but not COUPON free. We need coupons and we need them bad. I opened up the vault, behind the portrait of Joe Stalin, which I've replaced with a portrait of Mel Brooks, and all there was was $10, some lint, and a cube of chicken flavored bouillon. I'm ready to spend the last $10 on Tastycake chocolate cupcakes so get those coupons in here ASAP!